citylogs | [closed] catch-all log for December

If he’s surprised by that response, he tries to keep it off his face. Though really, nothing can compare to Dream’s constant stoic response to pretty much everything. Loki has always been better with slapping on a fake smile and forcing his way through anyway. He’s trying though, so he hopes (even if he doubts) that this time his emotions are being broadcast in a 10 mile radius around them.

A bland smile is fixed on his face as he nods slightly in thanks. “Would you like some tea as well? I have plenty.” His voice is still low as he makes his way towards the kitchen as Dream had indicated. He easily makes his way around the room, finding what he needs to brew the tea, even if it does take a few tries at finding everything in their cabinets. He will brew the tea first and then take it to Hob if he has awoken.

As Loki enters the kitchen, Dream actually moves more into the living space, taking a seat on the couch there, calling out to Loki in a way where his voice remains quiet but can still be heard clearly from the other room somehow. Magic of some kind, surely. "Only if you wish to prepare it. You did not come here for me, after all."

It's said stoically as with every way Dream presents himself, but it's not said judgmentally either. He is simply stating a fact.

If Dream thinks his method of communication is going to startle Loki, it doesn’t. He’s aware of what Dream is and assumes he must have some abilities and as far as magic goes, that sort of communication should be easy for the likes of him.

Loki answers as if Dream were standing next to him, assuming he could hear him anyway. Typically, if you could project, the idea was that you could hear the message in return. And if not, it isn’t as if this is a life or death situation. “I am brewing a pot, there will be plenty if you would like to try some.”

He might be jealous and worried about how close Hob and Dream might be, but he also knows that Hob cares a lot about Dream and therefore Loki will do his best to be polite, even if only just.

Honestly, Dream isn't thinking about anything like trying to spook Loki. He figures that the god would be familiar with such methods and therefore had no qualms in using it, where it might have startled one unfamiliar with it. That, and he didn't care to crowd Loki or watch over him as he works in the kitchen while he himself had no reason to be in there. So to the couch he went.

"Then I will decline at this time. Should Hob like it, then more will be available for him. As well as for yourself." Since he already mentioned his mother made it for him when he was younger, Dream assumes he therefore has a preference for it.

Dream might not actively be thinking of that, but Loki still has that impression. Though that is possibly because it is something he would do. Either way though, it doesn’t matter. When he gets the response, he simply shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

Loki sets about brewing the tea, pacing slightly as he waits for first the water to boil and then the tea to steep. He’s nervous. He doesn’t know what he’s going to see when he goes into Hob’s room. Logically he knows Hob will be okay, he’s not dying or anything, but Loki also isn’t sure how he’ll react to fully seeing someone he cares about injured.

When the tea is ready, he steels himself for what he might see as he puts the pot and two cups on a tray along with some milk before heading back out through the living area (where he gives a brief nod of acknowledgement to Dream) before quietly entering Hob’s bedroom, peering in to see if he is asleep.

From the bedroom, there's a soft groan as Hob turns and begins to wake. At first, he's a big groggy, but then he feels the phone still held in his hand and remembers he had sent a message out. Shit, did he fall asleep?

"Mmph. Dream?" His voice is a bit hoarse, so some tea is probably just the medicine he needs right now. "Did Loki come by?" When he sees a tall figure in the doorway, he thinks it might be Dream at first, but then his tired eyes focus and he realizes it's his guest.

"Oh, Loki. You're here." A smile and Hob stirs a bit more, sitting up just a little with his pillow behind him. "Did you make me tea?" There's an amused, but happy sound in his voice.

As for how he looks, he's looked better, but he's not on death's door. He's got a cotton t-shirt on and some sweatpants beneath his blanket. His skin color is pale from the loss of blood and he looks a little on the thin side, but he is awake now. "You got my message? Sorry, I must've dozed off." He finally puts his phone down on the covers next to him.

Being called Dream pulls Loki up short for a moment, but he quickly forces himself to relax. He knows he’s feeling a bit sensitive after being worried about Hob and having the realization that Hob might have had a bit of a thing for his roommate (even if that was no longer the case). Johanna’s words about him having a type still continue to play over and over in his head.

Once he thinks he has himself under control, he takes a deep breath and steps further into the dim light of the room. “I am sorry to wake you, but your message worried me.” As does Hob’s pallor, but he doesn’t want to concern Hob with any of that. “And yes, I did make you tea. It is not exact, but I found a brew that is quite similar to one my mother used to make for me when I was not well. I thought perhaps it might help.” It has no medicinal properties, but Loki knows that does not always matter.

“I did, and I came over right away. All you ever need do is ask and I will come to you.” His voice is quiet, soft, as he gently sets the tray on the foot of the bed, casting the slightest spell he hopes works to prevent the tray from toppling. He sits himself, perching slightly on the edge of Hob’s bed as he sits up slightly. He makes sure to keep space between them so as not to disturb. “It is fine, you should rest as much as possible. In fact, perhaps I should leave and come back later.”

He doesn’t want to leave, but he does want Hob to sleep.

Maybe Hob carried (or still carries) a small torch for Dream. It's hard to make heads or tails of his feelings toward the Endless, at times, but Hob called Loki here because he did want to see him. Very much. And whenever Loki looks at him with his adoring gaze, it makes Hob feel something so fulfilling it's as though he might burst with happiness.

When Loki joins him, Hob sits up a bit more and offers a hand to accept the tea. If it's something similar to what Loki's mother used to make him, Hob wants to try it right away.

The idea that Loki should come back later has Hob shaking his head. "I didn't ask you to come here to make tea and leave." There's a bit of humor in his voice. "I wanted to see you. Please, stay."

Normally Loki can at least fake confidence when it comes to romantic partners (or he could when he actually tended to have them), but if there’s any competition now he knows he could lose to, it’s Dream. It’s not that he thinks that Hob is fooling him, or using him or anything of the sort, but if Dream suddenly decided he did want Hob, Loki would hardly blame him if he took him up on that. He would be sad and hurt and all the rest, but how could he not understand? Loki might be a god, but even he understands that is nothing as compared to one of the Endless.

He tries not to think of these things though because he’s selfish and lonely and wants to take up as much of Hob’s time as he’s allowed. He refuses to let it get to him. He’ll enjoy Hob’s company for as long as he can and hopefully longer.

With a gentle smile, he hands Hob one of the cups. “I know, but you do need your rest and I do seem to have disturbed that.” He would never forgive himself if he somehow elongated Hob’s recovery time. “But I admit I wanted to see you too. Though I suppose you know by now I would always like to see you.”

Hob's interest in Loki is nothing but genuine, and once Hob has chosen a partner, he isn't about to leave that partner. He's loyal. Even if his previous loves were all human, he would not have left any of them if Dream had knocked on his door while he was with them. Sure, perhaps his heart has a little pocket where Dream continues to exist, but Hob is a very devoted man. He knows he'd be a fool not to embrace Loki's feelings for him, and Hob has feelings for the Asgardian, as well.

The tea is sipped a few times with an approving nod. "I've slept plenty, believe me." When Loki says he always wants to see him, Hob can't help but smile as he lowers his cup. Another drink follows and Hob reaches to set the cup down on the nightstand with the slightest wince around his eyes for the sideways movement. Then, he puts his hands on the mattress to edge his body over, providing some more space.

"I might have had something specific in mind when I invited you over." It wasn't tea. Hob lifts the side of the blanket as an invitation. "Get in." If Loki wants to accept the invitation, he can slide into bed under the covers with Hob.

Loki could not boast the same about loyalty, not really. It’s not that he’s incapable of it, he’s just never met anyone he thought was deserving of his loyalty. At least not until now. Hob stands out from the crowd and is so much better than anyone he’s had the pleasure of knowing. There is simply something special about him and it makes Loki want nothing more than to keep him safe and have him around for as long as possible.

Of course, he likes him as more than a friend, much more, but even if Hob didn’t like him like that in return or he was ever to change his mind, Loki would still want him in his life however he could have him.

“I’m sure you have.” Loki sounds and looks a little skeptical. It’s not that he thinks Hob is lying, but Loki knows how important rest is when you’ve been injured. He himself wasn’t right for a long time after his fall from the Bifrost bridge and his little run in with the Hulk hadn’t helped.

They sit in companionable silence for a few moments as Loki also sips at his tea, savouring it as it reminds him of home. Something that wasn’t a pleasant memory for him for too long. It is nice to have that back, even if he can never go home. It’s nice, just being with Hob like this. He wonders if this is the right time to tell him about his run in with Ethan.

But before he can even think about how to broach the subject, Hob is putting down his tea and shifting over, inviting him into his bed. And Norns if it isn’t a tempting offer. He’s so tired and the idea of touching Hob, being able to feel for himself that he is alive and well would do wonders for his mental state. But is it good for Hob?

“Are you sure? I do not want to aggravate your wounds.”

Hob had been charmed by Loki from the start, when a first, seemingly innocent dance was enjoyed more than Hob had anticipaed. Every time they spoke after or spent time together, it was always the highlight of Hob's day. He found himself wondering how Loki might be doing when they were apart. The feelings just snuck up on him before he realized they were there. Now, they're hard to deny.

As Loki hesitates to get into the bed, Hob laughs a little. His eyes may still be tired, but they also shine with amusement as he lies back to recline against the pillows. "I'm only asking you to get in, not give me a work out. Sorry, but, you'll have to wait a little longer for that." Even if he tries to sound cool about it, Hob ends up blushing at his own joke.

"Come on. My arm is getting tired." But he'll keep holding up the blanket until Loki gets in or flat out refuses the invitation. Hob won't be mad if he refuses, though.

The joke works and Loki huffs out a soft laugh. “Fine, I suppose I can wait.” What? Like he would be able to not answer a joke with a joke. But still, he does feel a little better. Hob always seems to make him feel better. He doesn’t know how he does it, but he’ll take it.

Loki kicks off his shoes and does something he’s been testing by changing his clothing to something more comfortable (plain black jogging pants and a green t-shirt, Midgardian clothing he’d been trying and find he quite liked) using only his magic. He grins, curious about Hob’s reaction, but doesn’t say anything as he climbs in.

Once in, he wants to press himself up against Hob, hold him or be held, he doesn’t much care which, but he doesn’t know how to ask. “Can I…?” He starts, but shakes his head, a light blush tinting his cheeks. “Never mind. How are you feeling? Really?”

Hob didn't anticipate the use of magic, so when Loki's clothes suddenly change into those more fitting for getting into bed, Hob can't help but stare with an amazed look as his blush intensifies. Loki can magic those clothes.. off.. just as quickly, can't he? Wait, no, he can't think about that right now!

Loki crawls in and continues to hesitate out of concern, which puts an appreciative smile on Hob's face. "I'm on the mend. And I feel.. frustrated. By a lot of things. Having you here makes me feel better, though."

He reaches with both arms to circle them around Loki and draw him closer until he's at Hob's side.

"Gently..."

If Loki's careful, he can put his head on Hob's shoulder and cuddle up next to him.

Why yes, yes he can. It's something he's found he's still able to do, though it seems his magic taps out after a rather small number of uses here. It is better than he initially thought though. But he wouldn't confirm or deny that now anyway. Besides, he's unsure he can help anyone else out of their clothing yet. A test for another time, to be sure.

Loki lets out a sympathetic sigh. "Yes, I know how hard it can be when you are unable to do every day things you enjoy. Pain is no fun either. I am glad I can be of some help, at least."

There's a bit of surprise on Loki's face as Hob slowly pulls him in a bit closer, but then relief fills him and he begins to relax as he does just that and lays his head on Hob's shoulder. On hand begins to gently fidget with the hem of Hob's shirt. "I want to tell you something, but I'm worried I will upset you if I do."

Hob has seen how Dream's powers can tire him here, so he wouldn't ask Loki to use his magic on something that trivial; not when Hob can enjoy undressing Loki, himself. That's for another time, as well. For now, he's happy when Loki leans closer to rest against him. This lets Hob put one arm around Loki from beneath him while the other gently brushes along Loki's shoulder. Beneath the hem of Hob's shirt, Loki can feel the bandages that circle his body around his stomach.

Loki's words cause Hob's brow to furrow out of concern. "I want you to tell me, then." Though he doesn't think he'll get upset with Loki, even if he has no idea what it is, yet.

Feeling the edge of Hob's bandages cause his heart to seize slightly. He frowns to himself, hating that he was hurt but so glad he's going to be okay. It's just a visceral reminder that he was not there to help, during or after. This is why he had tried to speak to Johanna, because as much as he doesn't want to hurt Ethan, had he been there when the attack happened, he would've torn the wolf apart for even looking at Hob. Or Johanna for that matter.

As Hob puts his arm around him, Loki looks down, his cheek rested on Hob's shoulder as he watches his hand play with the other man's shirt. He nods in response without lifting his head and swallows nervously. He thinks he did the right thing. He thinks he handled things correctly, but he doesn't know, not for sure. Loki is a creature of emotion and just the fact that he stopped to talk about it before simply reacting is an improvement. He just doesn't know if Hob will see that.

"I'm not sure if you saw, but Mr. Chandler put an apology of sorts out over the devices. I may have gone to see him."

Without knowing it was Ethan, Hob might have thanked Loki for putting down such a monster, only to regret it later. In that way, he's glad he was mostly alone at the time. Johanna did save him from a worse fate, but he's still angry at her, despite it. He can be grateful and angry at the same time.

Hob's never seen Loki look quite so nervous, though. He nods a little, "I did see it. We spoke about what happened." Hob doesn't appear to hold any malice over the attack. "You went to see him? What happened?" Hob's voice is quietly curious.

Without knowing it was Ethan, Loki would've likely felt the same. Though the guilt would only have been due to it being Ethan specifically. He can't say he would care all that much if it was someone he didn't know. That level of empathy, it would seem, will take a bit more practice for Loki.

"I wanted to hurt him." Loki decides to start with pure honesty. For some reason Hob is one of the few people he finds he can't lie to. Or perhaps he simply doesn't want to, he's not really sure. "But I know that is not what you wanted, or ever would want, so I spoke with him. I let him explain. It was all rather difficult, perhaps more so than if I had just hit him. He... really is a much better person than I am."

Hob appreciates that Loki is honest with him, even about the things he doesn't think Hob will like. As he speaks, Hob gently brushes his hand against Loki's shoulder in a soothing gesture.

Hearing that Loki spoke to Ethan, instead, makes Hob smile softly. It's easier to take action without knowing the whole story, and it sounds like Loki got that from Ethan. Although it was difficult, Loki resisted his natural instinct and acted in a way that would make him happy.

"Thank you. I am very proud of you for handling it like that."

“You are?” It’s not that he doesn’t believe him. Hob wouldn’t lie to him about anything, but especially not something like this. But it’s still rather difficult for him to believe. Loki is just too used to giving into his natural instincts and his instincts had been screaming at him to do something awful to Ethan for hurting someone he cares about.

“He made me realize a few things about myself. Things I never really wanted to examine. I couldn’t do anything to him at that point, even if I was still angry. Even if I am still angry. But it seems now the most important thing will be preventing it from happening again.” Because now not only is Loki worried about anyone he’s become friendly with running into Ethan’s monster again, but he’s also worried about Ethan.

It's because Loki did something that was difficult for him to do, that went against what he may have wanted to do, that Hob is proud of him. Hob thinks Loki made the right decision. This city may be big, but everyone stuck here has to find a way to live with each other, which includes helping each other and even forgiving one another from time to time.

When Loki says that he had to face some personal issues, Hob hugs his arm around Loki a bit more. "Do you want to talk about that?" Those things that bothered Loki so much.

All of those are perfectly good reasons, it's just not something Loki is used to, and part of him is still second guessing himself, feeling like he should have done more. What that might be, he's unsure, but Loki's never been in a situation like this before, where he cared about someone this much. Everyone he's even remotely cared about before were fully able to take care of themselves. They hadn't needed the likes of Loki to look out for them.

That is a loaded question that Loki takes maybe a bit too long to answer. "I do. I want you to know everything about me, so you can make a proper decision about me before we get any closer. But I am afraid." Loki has done some truly terrible things in his life, most of which happened all in the last decade or so. A blink of an eye really when compared to the rest of his life, but would feel so much longer to many others. He says before they get closer, but the truth of it is, Loki is already hopelessly gone on Hob and if he’s rejected, he’s not sure he’ll ever get over it. He’s not very good at that sort of thing.

So he can make a proper decision? As if Hob's decision hasn't already been made? Changing his mind now would hurt Hob, too, as would being rejected by Loki.

His hand touches Loki's side, moving in a soothing motion back and forth. "You're not going to change my mind." But Loki will know for sure when he tells Hob the things he needs Hob to know. "Go on." He can talk about it if he's ready.

There is one thing that is for certain, Loki could never reject Hob. Not now, maybe not ever. There isn’t a world where he could give him up now, he’s only trying to say the right thing, do the right thing, but he would be crushed if he did anything to make Hob reject him.

Loki lets out a long breath and closes his eyes. “I am not a good person, but lately I have been trying to be better. Even before I arrived here, I was trying, but it was hard. I do not trust easily, I never did, but it became much harder about ten years ago when I found out I was adopted. Or according to some, stolen, from a race of people I was raised to believe were our mortal enemy. The word monster was thrown around a lot when referring to them. Needless to say, I reacted rather badly and I hurt and killed a lot of people. I… I tried to have my brother killed, I invaded earth with an alien army and ended up destroying one of their major cities. I faked my death a number of times and even forced some to do things against their wills.” He pauses for a minute there before whispering, “I am responsible for my mother’s death.”

There’s another pause before he begins speaking again. He worries that if he doesn’t take a moment to take a breath, he will start to cry. “Some of what Ethan told me made me empathize with him because of what I had been through, but what disturbs me truly is that while he steps up, admits his wrong doings and tries to right his wrongs, I did none of those things. I was imprisoned by my family for a time, but I never attempted to make things right. Not until more recently anyway and even when I did, when I finally thought I might be making things better with my brother and my people. Well, I died, and woke up here. I do not know if this is a second chance, but the one thing I truly learned from my conversation with Ethan is that I was definitely handling things very badly. I do not think I deserve forgiveness for all I have done, I merely hope that you hearing this hasn’t resulted in me losing you.”

As his story comes to an end, Loki feels tense, as if he’s waiting for Hob to kick him out, which is really the truth. It seems at least possible, but for once in his life, he has hope.

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