citylogs | [closed] catch-all log for December

When prompted, Loki cuddles up to Hob, though he’s still quite careful of his wounds. He can’t help but press his face into his chest, taking comfort from the warmth and smell of him as he tries to keep control and fails.

He can hear the emotion in Hob’s voice and he shifts just enough so he can sit up and look at Hob again, though he stays firmly pressed against him, needing to feel him. “I’m sorry, I really did not want to upset you.” His voice is still soft as he gently wipes at the tears Hob has shed.

His heart freezes a bit when Hob asks about his death. He hadn’t meant to tell him like this, he hadn’t wanted to tell him at all, though he knew he would eventually. But while he was trying to recover and after piling on all this stuff about his past? It is not his finest moment.

“I don’t know, not for sure. I have been trying to find out. When I arrived, I wasn’t sure I had died at all. I thought perhaps I had just passed out, but I have had it confirmed. At least as best as I can confirm anything in this place. I think it might be why this place was able to take me in the first place.” Loki swallows thickly then, casting his eyes down in shame. “I should have told you sooner. No one wants to become attached to a dead man walking, I am sure.”

Right now, Hob hardly notices his wounds. He just wants Loki to be near him. When Loki pulls away, Hob tries to hide the emotion in his eyes, but it's impossible. When his tears are wiped away, he gasps softly and a few new ones are shed, which he quickly blinks away.

There is no good timing for that news, so Hob isn't concerned with all of it being piled on at once. Hob feels incredibly selfish, though, because of all the things Loki told him, there's only one thing that really upsets him, and that's the thought of losing Loki.

Calling himself a 'dead man walking' makes Hob's heart ache. It's a little too late not to get attached. "I..." It's hard to say the words. "I'm used to it. Loving someone and losing them. If I didn't allow myself to be with someone who would one day die, I'd always be alone." And that's not what Hob wants. His life is richer when he's sharing it with someone he cares about, no matter the eventual pain that will bring.

"I just thought, with you, maybe, it would be different." That he wouldn't have to be afraid. "But maybe it still can be. You're here. You're alive. What happened before might not happen again, or maybe things will be different." Perhaps this really is a second chance. Hob doesn't know how Loki is alive here and now, but Hob is grateful for it.

Hob might not be paying attention to his wounds right now, but Loki is. Seeing Hob sad hurts and he's not going to do something stupid by hurting him physically as well. He really shouldn't have said anything, at least not right now, but since he spoke with Ethan his thoughts on this have been bothering him and Hob was the first and possibly only, person he'd wanted to speak with about it. It doesn't make him feel any less guilty or selfish though.

When Hob speaks, Loki lets out a sad sigh and lets his forehead drop to his shoulder. His fingers grip at the hem of his shirt as he feels he needs to hold onto something, and that seems like the safest thing right now. "I'm so sorry. I did not want to be that for you. I should have said something earlier, the moment I knew I had feelings for you so you could choose to leave more easily. I was just... scared. Not just of losing you, but of the fact that I should not be alive. It is something I ignored for awhile after I arrived."

Loki looks up at him again with a sad smile. "I'm hoping it still can be different. I will not stop looking for a way to stay alive, to stay with you. For as long as you will have me."

As Loki drops his head onto Hob's shoulder, Hob brushes his fingers back over Loki's ear and caresses his hair. Maybe it's Hob's fault for presuming too much about who Loki is. Even gods can die, apparently, even when a single human man does not. Hob let himself get wrapped up in the idea that something or someone other than himself might last forever; someone he could hold on to. But despite knowing what happened to Loki before he came here, coming here may have changed everything. Hope remains.

"It would not have been easy, and I don't imagine I could have left, either way." Hob had already grown very fond of his friend, and like Hob said, if he let death stand in the way of his feelings, he'd have to stop feeling all-together. What would be the point in living, then?

"Maybe it is possible. I'll do everything I can to help." The sad smile is returned with a fond look. Hob is not giving up on him.

Hob’s touch is soothing. Something he hasn’t felt in quite some time. When was the last time someone tried to make him feel better? Thor had made attempts at points, his mother for certain, but not in longer than Loki can really remember. He feels a bit ashamed, but takes comfort in the touch. Yet another thing he’s willing to take even when he thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

More than anything he wants to be there with Hob, to be the one that could stay with him forever. Even without what happened right before he arrived in the city, he would’ve only had a few thousand years. But that was better than most could offer him, he knows.

“You would choose to stay, even if you’d known?” That really does surprise Loki, and it’s evident in his tone. He understands that there have been times when Hob has found people he cares for that will live a fraction of what Loki should and how hard that must be. It’s why he never sought out mortals himself. But he’s still not convinced that Hob doesn’t have a chance with Dream. He’s a much more certain thing.

Loki lets himself smile then and he leans in to give Hob a gentle kiss, just a light brush of their lips. “Together we can make anything happen.” He tries to sound confident about that because he wants so badly for it to be true.

If he sees someone in pain, Hob can't help but try to offer some comfort, no matter how small it might be. When it comes to Loki, he couldn't possibly ignore any saddness he sees. He already cares about Loki too much to let him wallow in his own guilt or suffer.

"Yes, I would have. For the same reason I once married and had children of my own, despite knowing the eventual outcome. Having you in my life makes my life richer."

The gentle kiss is returned, and then he smiles, touching his forehead against Loki's. "And you are exceptionally handsome. The most stunning man I've ever had the pleasure to hold, so how was I to refuse?"

And that is one of the many things that Loki loves about Hob. How caring he is, how much he truly wants to help people. He feels lucky to be counted amongst the people he cares about the most. He also wants to learn from his example and be a better person. He’s inspiring like that.

“I cannot tell you how lucky I feel. That I can be counted amongst people you care for that much. I really want to show you I am worthy of your time.” He knows that Hob doesn’t see it that way, but it doesn’t stop Loki from feeling that way. He wants to make him proud.

Loki laughs softly, unable not to grin widely at those words, a blush colouring his cheeks at being told how stunning Hob thinks he is. Loki is aware people find him handsome, but he’s never been told anything quite like that before. “You are hardly hard to look at yourself, you know. I bet you have not had trouble finding a partner in the past. I’m sure many a man or woman have come knocking at your door.”

Hob hasn't always lived a good life. There were times when he's done terrible things and even taken the life of another, but he hopes those days are behind him. That he's grown a lot since then. It only took a few centuries, so when someone else does something bad, how is he to blame them? Not everyone gets to have a countless number of years to become a better person, and some have fewer years than others.

The idea that Loki is not worthy is responded to with a light shake of Hob's head, but Loki probably already knows that Hob disagrees with that idea. In Hob's eyes, Loki is worthy of so much more.

Hob is happy he can make Loki laugh and blush like that. He's so handsome when he smiles. Whether others have come knocking is one thing, but how many has Hob let in? In the past several centuries, it's not like it was in the old days when he was younger and wilder.

"Uh.. um.." There's a bit of uncertainty in his voice. "I've wanted to tell you, since we've been getting so close.." Why does he feel so embarrassed? And his heart is pounding so hard. Normally, he'd keep details like this hidden along with the secret of his immortality, but he doesn't have to hide that from Loki. Hob looks away. "I.. haven't been with anyone since my last wife. That was... eighty years ago?" Oh God, maybe he should've kept that to himself after all.

In no way does Loki expect that Hob has always lived a good life. Even the best of people go through bad times, especially when they can live as long as Hob has. But Loki is starting to believe he knows Hob's heart and no matter what he may have done in the past, he knows he's a good man.

Once again, Loki doesn't quite realize that this same logic could be applied to himself with how Hob thinks of him, but as smart as he is, he really is bad at seeing himself. He just smiles softly, unsure of what to say to that shake of the head. He knows what Hob thinks, he just worries he's wrong. More than anything, Loki wants to live up to his expectations.

That revelation surprises Loki if only because he can't help but imagine that Hob would have his choice of anyone he wants. Then he's confused because Hob seems embarrassed by that. "Were you... worried about telling me that?" He asks gently, his curiosity evident as much as his confusion. Loki can't remember the last time he was with someone. Certainly long before the debacle around Thor's coronation. His reputation really hadn't helped him in such matters.

Hob looks at Loki's arm and runs his hand up and down, from Loki's wrist to his elbow. "Well, I'm hardly surrounded by suitors, you know?" Hob doesn't want Loki to think he's some kind of Cassanova. Sure, Hob can be charming as hell, and he's certainly used his charm to bed someone in the past, but it's been awhile since he employed those tactics.

"My conquesting years are behind me." He passes Loki a small smile, then looks at him more directly. "I want to be with someone I care about." Maybe that's old fashioned, but it doesn't really do much for Hob, otherwise.

And as particular as Hob may be, he wouldn't choose Loki if he thought Loki were a bad person. He sees the goodness in Loki, and how Loki handled the encounter with Ethan has only proven Hob's opinion correct.

"I did not expect you were, but I find it hard to believe no one was interested." Loki can't help but smile fondly at Hob as it occurs to him that means it is more likely that Hob was the uninterested one. He actually likes the idea that it's been awhile for him and not just because he finds himself in a similar situation, but because he's finding out now just how much Hob really likes him. He feels special and very honoured. And when they do make things more physical, he's going to go out of his way to make sure it's an experience Hob will never forget.

Where this man came from and how Loki got so lucky is a mystery for the ages, he's sure, but he's hardly about to take it for granted. The Norns have given him something beyond special here and he plans to treat it with all the care and respect it deserves. Because Hob deserves all the care and respect.

"Have I mentioned that I like a man who knows what he wants?" It's a bit of a joke, just because Loki is having a hard time understanding how he became someone for Hob to care for. Don't get him wrong, he loves that he is and will do everything in his power to keep things on the right track, but it doesn't mean it's still not surprising for him. Also, it's true. There's no wondering if he's understood correctly, no worries that he didn't get it right. Hob is being quite straight-foward with him and he appreciates it greatly.

"You know, we are not so different, you and I. I also have not had time for conquests in some time. Nor do I find the idea appealing. It is much better waiting for someone you care for than just a one night stand." Not that Loki hasn't had fun with those, even recently, but he thinks this will be much better.

Hob won't judge anyone for their one-night stands, no matter how numerous they are. There was a time when his track record might have rivaled anyone's, but as he said, those days are behind him and he prefers to live differently than when he was younger. Maybe there were others who had shown an interest, but back home, Hob had to feel as though he could trust someone. If things grew between them, they would eventually need to know about his circumstances, and there are those who might take advantage of his secret.

"I'm so lucky to have you." Hob tenderly brushes his fingers back through Loki's hair over his ear. "Every day is richer now." Hob was falling into a bit of a rut in his life here. Loki's confession came along at the best time.

No one is more surprised than Loki that he’s had a one night stand (or two) since arriving. Before being brought here, it had been an age since he’d bothered to even try to bed someone. All his time has been taken up with rather unpleasant events that had anything romantic or sexual about as far from his mind as can be. Arriving in the city had meant that everything had suddenly stopped and Loki found himself with too much free time on his hands. He doesn’t regret anything he’s done, but he knows that anything with Hob is different, special and he no longer cares to do anything of the sort with anyone else.

“I don’t believe anyone has said that to me before.” He speaks lowly, a bit of a shaky smile on his face as he tries not to turn into a blathering, over-emotional fool. “I am the one who is lucky. You are the most wonderful person I have had the pleasure of meeting and I feel honoured that you enjoy my company.”

Hob continues to move his fingers against Loki's hair, enjoying the soft texture and the waves that slide through. It's hard to believe no one has ever said that to him before, but Hob knows Loki would not joke about it. He can't help but think Loki must have felt very alone, even if he was a god and a prince among others.

He eases Loki's face closer with his touch and presses a warm kiss to Loki's lips. Hob would really love to keep on kissing him and show Loki just how enamored Hob really is with him, but that day will come.

A sigh, and Hob opens his eyes. "I'm tired. Will you stay here for awhile?" He likes how warm and comfortable Loki is in his arms, even if he'll be asleep.

It might be hard for Hob to believe, but he doesn’t really know what life was like for Loki before. Not that Loki is unaware that he did a lot of it to himself. He still believes he had good reason for reacting badly in many cases, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how far he went to push people away who cared for him. He regrets that now and is doing his best to change his ways. He thinks he’s doing well so far, but he worries he’ll fall back on his old ways. Or this city will force him to. It is not so long since he was attacking people at the party in the university after all.

Loki sighs into the kiss, his eyes fluttering closed at the gentle press of lips to his own. It makes him feel cherished, even if he’s still not convinced he deserves that.

“Of course, I will stay for however long you need.” Loki can’t imagine going anywhere. Hob will have to kick him out at this point.

Hob isn't kicking Loki out any time soon. Hearing that Loki won't leave just yet lets Hob relax, knowing that warmth will remain by his side as he sleeps. His eyelids grow heavy faster than he'd like, and his head rests against the pillow, his cheek still slightly against Loki's hair as he falls into a peaceful slumber with his darling in his arms.

[closed] catch-all log for December

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