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[ She's starting to struggle, he realizes. That she's held up this long is admirable, really, but one doesn't need to be a battle genius to know that anyone would eventually be overwhelmed by an unending onslaught of attackers.

Still, it does little to settle the mortification bubbling inside him. ]

I don't need your consideration! Just shut up and focus!

[ He struggles some more against the restraints, but they aren't budging. He really has to do this, doesn't he. With a noise of frustration, he looks back up at Altria. With any luck, she might not be paying attention. ]

I... I mean...

...

[ Nope. He just can't. Beg for his life? Are you kidding? Absolutely not. ]

[She really does want to give him as much time as he needs for this embarrassing story to progress. The ideal would be for her to be able to back up her bravado and get past this unending hoard of skeletons and beat up the evil Queen herself and save him without him needing to say his next lines.

But... well, even fictional, fantasy stories here don't seem to work that way.]

I'm f--

[--ocusing!

That's what she wants to say, anyway, but there truly are far too many of them for her to keep this up. She's able to deflect one attack with her staff, and fend off another with another barrier spell, but the third from behind takes her completely off-guard, and she hits the dirt face-first.]

Ghhk--

[The skeletons swarm her, of course, now that there's a hint of weakness in her defense.]

Altria!

[ He sees the undead piling onto her, and there's a brief spike of panic—even though she would just revive upon dying due to failing the scenario, it's not like he wants to watch her die, or watch her suffer a painful death. He's not that sadistic—at least, not anymore, and he considers her—an ally, at least. Someone he doesn't wish harm upon.

He grits his teeth. He has to swallow his pride here, but he's not used to this. Not used to the idea of trying to protect someone. It's an unbearable feeling, the desire to keep another safe.

Deep breath: ]

H-help me, oh brave knight! I b-beg of you, succeed and save me from the wicked queen!

[Her hands are, quite unsurprisingly, very full of keeping the skeletons away from her face and the more delicately squishy parts of her. The last thing she wants to do is go down here--(how terribly embarrassing, after everything she's survived)--but they claw at her so persistently with bones that dig into her skin and catch on her unwieldy robes.

And there's still Wanderer, too. She promised she would save him and get him out of this stupid story.

So she can't die until that happens...!

She can hear his words over the rickety clack of the bones of the skeleton hoard, and her heart sinks for a moment. Truly, such words don't suit him at all. Truly, he deserves so much better than this.

But it is what the story required.

And the surge of power she feels immediately means that it's time for the next beat in said story, doesn't it? It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth, but she leans into it anyway. If he can be brave enough to spit out words like that, then she should take advantage.

The magic that escapes her staff quite literally blows the skeletons around her away and to pieces, and then she's up again, a little scuffed and scratched up, panting, but determined.

She flubs the next line a little, but it's probably close enough.]

I'm coming for you! I promise! Whether it's wicked queens or weird storybooks or even cooking too much food in the kitchen, I said I'd always come and I--! Meant--! It--!

[She bashes her way through more of the skeletons in front of her, though now her blows contain so much more power--enough so that she can finally make forward progress.]

[ He stuttered over his lines as well, but the fairy tale had reacted as if he'd said them properly, so her slight flub is probably fine. But her earnest reply is embarrassing to hear, and he wants to retort immediately, but he can't. He has to keep acting until Altria makes it all the way through, as unfortunate as it is for his pride. ]

...I believe in you, brave knight! [ actually no, this is still embarrassing to say, but he can't fluster here ] Evil shall be no match for you!

[ It's a very, very good thing Altria is too far to see him blush. ]

[She absolutely cannot tell, he's lucky. For now.

Regardless, Altria smashes a path through the skeleton army, blasting away any that come too near with shields and blasts of magecraft energy and fire.

And soon enough, cheeks red from the exertion, she makes her way through the army until she's close enough to properly see both Wanderer and the Queen--

And then she focuses on what matters, stumbles over her line quickly:]

I've come to rescue your prisoner, the-- [...]

Th-th... the... [He's going to be so mad...]

--the lovely princess! Face me now in combat, evil queen!

[ To his credit, only his eyebrow twitches slightly, and the flush on his cheeks becomes more prominent. This is just awkward all around, but they have to see this through to the end if they want out.

The evil queen laughs shrilly and summons her staff to prepare for battle, starting a villainous monologue going into her backstory and reasons for her actions— ]

Oh just shut up and fight already, you damn— [ oh shit, wait, he can fix this— ] —uh, I mean, you won't succeed against the brave knight! Good will prevail!

[ Will the fairy tale punish them for the slip in his temper? ]

[Of course it will. It can't be too easy, can it?

Of course, Altria's also got a twitch in her forehead at the villainous monologue (this is... very embarrassing, isn't it?), so she's not upset that he interrupts her--

The problem, of course, is that the evil queen then lets out a very evil cackle, lifts a hand, and blasts Altria with some sort of beam of magical energy. She throws her staff up with a barrier with a yelp, but nonetheless it tosses her back, and she tumbles with the strength of the blow.

A breath in. And a breath out. Slowly, she pushes herself up.]

He said what you wanted him to say, you stupid story...!

[... Anyway, then she just takes a running start and tries to clobber the queen over the head with her staff. Can't take the Altria out of Altria, even in a fairy tale.]

[ Ah, shit. That was definitely not what he wanted to happen. He really has to be careful what he says, and thankfully it seems Altria isn't too worse for wear.

But the way she attacks the queen is not entirely what he expected, and he just watches incredulously as the evil queen fends her off with magic barriers and spells.

Said under his breath: ]

Aren't you supposed to fight her with magic...? [ And now, louder, and with a slightly sarcastic lilt: ] Oh brave knight, defeat her with your magic!

[She is supposed to fight her with magic, yes. Altria's staff hits the queen's barriers not-at-all-satisfyingly, and she's fended off, stumbling back a little, flushing red.]

R-right, magecraft! I can... I can do that! She just really, really was pissing me off, so I--

[Yeah we all get it, Altria. She clears her throat, lifts her staff, and focuses.]

O evil queen, your reign of terror is over!

[Later, Altria would not be able to say what kind of magic she casts. It's whatever the story requires, and the fairy tale does not go into details.

What matters is it's a blast of very powerful magic, and for the first time, the queen is knocked back--which loosens Wanderer's magical bindings as well.]

[ With the bindings loosened, it's no trouble for him to break out of it. But he still can't help Altria in battle, because that isn't his role in the fairy tale. The bindings had only been a punishment for his misbehaviour.

He stands, about to cross his arms in a manner that doesn't befit the helpless princess he's supposed to be—but, right, he still has a role to play. Instead, he clasps his hands together and faces the queen.

This time, at least, his lines aren't to cry for help. Even if he can't be as vitriolic as he'd like, he can still express what he wants to on some level. ]

Begone, evil queen! Never again will you cast a shadow upon this kingdom!

[ And he looks to Altria to land the final blow. ]

[And the final blow she'll do, gladly; she grasps her staff in both hands, takes in a deep breath, and swings what's basically a blast of pure magical energy the evil queen's way. She shrieks when it connects, tossing her back properly into a heap that lay on the floor, unmoving, and Altria takes a deep breath in, before she finally lowers her staff.

She stares at the evil queen for a long moment, almost contemplative--and then she snaps back to herself, hastily turning towards Wanderer and hurrying to his side.]

Are you okay? That asshole didn't hurt you, right? [Language.]

[ It is incredibly satisfying to hear the queen shriek in agony and them crumple to the floor, never to move again. It also signals the near end of the fairy tale, though there were still a few cheesy lines they had to recite before they would truly be let go.

Still, the wicked grin that sits on his face is hard to miss, and it widens as Altria swears. It's kind of endearing to hear that kind of language from her. ]

Swearing doesn't suit you, o brave, righteous knight.

Huh...?

[The script, Altria, the script!! They've almost made it!]

O-oh, right!

[Ahem. Altria aims for an elegant bow, and mooostly pulls it off, offering Wanderer her hand.]

I'm relieved to see that you are safe, princess. Please, allow me to escort you back to your kingdom.

[ When he focuses just on Altria and not himself, he can almost find her acting endearing. But her words remind him of his own role and he just frowns instead.

Also because the next line is embarrassing and he definitely doesn't want to say it. But since when has this fairy tale cared about his dignity anyway?

With some hesitation, he puts his hand in Altria's and looks away. ]

...Thank you, brave knight. For saving me, and this kingdom. You may ask for anything you'd like, as a reward.

[ Because as all fairy tales do, the brave knight must be rewarded with someone. Not something, but someone. ]

[Oh. Right. This part. She glossed over this part when glancing over the script initially, since the beginning of this story was so fast paced.

But now here they are... and this is...

This is...

So goddamn embarrassing!]

Th-th-then...

[Wheeze. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.]

Then...! [Come on, Altria, just spit it out and then you guys can escape the story.]

I-i-if it pleases you, princess... I would like t-to... [aaaaAAAAAAAA

and then, in a rush, as if an exhaling balloon:]

toaskyourhandinmarriage.

[ Altria fumbles through the delivery of the lines so badly that he can't help but break character and laugh. It makes the final line a lot easier to say as a desire to tease her overrides his own embarrassment, and he pulls her hand—flips it over so the back of her gloved hand is the one exposed and presses a kiss to it. His voice is low and flirtatious as he speaks. ]

I gladly accept, my dear, brave knight.

[ And he waits for the reaction. ]

[How dare he.

He's doing this on purpose.

She goes through a roulette of emotions, ping-ponging rapidly between panic and embarrassment and pissiness and back again, because he was the one who was embarrassed and now he's the one being suave and it's not fair because she knows he's teasing her.

He has her hand. He's brushing his lips against the back of it. And thank goodness she's wearing gloves, or she's pretty sure she'd implode.

She wants to yell. But all of this work will be for nothing if they fail to finish the story at this point, and so she remains as still as she can, and fumbles for the line.

Her face says everything she can't put to words right now though.]

That's. Wonderful. I'm so. Happy.

[Wheeze. She takes his hand and squeezes it hard.]

Shall we go. My princess.

[ And in turn, he has a wicked grin on his face as he tries not to laugh at the expression on her face. She is just too easy to rile up.

She squeezes his hand hard but he hardly feels it. He squeezes back, not nearly as hard, just to tease. And the playfulness is still evident in his words. ]

Let us depart, my knight.

[ Aannnd they're done! Finally. They have a few moments now to talk before they're whisked off again, but—he snickers at her. ]

You should see the look on your face.

[And then they're released, and Altria's shoulders slump as she groans, head hanging. Honestly, how does it always end up like this? He's the one wearing a dress, and she's the one embarrassed in the end!]

W-well! It just means I have a pure, maidenly heart! [HUFF!!]

What about you, huh? How come you were able to say those lines so easily?

[ Because she flusters too easily, and he's got a sadistic streak. People like Altria are fun to rile up.

He snorts. Pure maidenly heart. He doesn't disagree necessarily, but he doesn't think she quite matches the stereotype of a pure maiden. Especially with the way she likes to fight. Very physical and lacking elegance. ]

You could say I know a thing or two about acting. [ says the guy who was very bad at it initially. But he feigns nonchalance here. ] Besides, [ lowering his voice here ] I wouldn't mind playing princess for a brave, powerful knight like you.

[ Is he teasing her again by being flirtatious? Yes, yes he is. ]

[ [internal teakettle noises]

For whatever reason, she's not expecting him to buckle down on the flirting, even though she's just shown that it's an easy way to rile her up.

He's just teasing her. He's just--

But...

It's so--]

[It's kind of nice though.

Being called brave, being called powerful, being flirted with like this, even though she knows better, and it's just him teasing her anyway--]

[He's just goddamn teasing her--!]

And you're the worst princess in the world! Let's go! I want to get out of this stupid story! And I won't forgive you for being prettier than me, either!

[ He laughs again, it's really too fun to poke at her. ]

Am I now? What a shame. But I'm flattered you find me attractive, my dear knight.

[ He's very much not sorry. ]

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