A TRAIN COMES INTO THE STATION.
You wake up on a train.
Your phone is buzzing. It's in your pocket, in your hand, on the seat next to you. It's a normal phone, and you're on a normal train car. One of the lights flickers, a little further down. The world is very quiet. It feels like you're right where you're meant to be. On the phone's surface is a white screen and the words—
WELCOME TO THE CITY. BEGIN ORIENTATION?
▶ NO
Please take a moment to complete your orientation.
Once you're finished, the subway doors slide open to let you out onto the train platform. To your right, the platform continues on and eventually ends; to the left is a set of stairs that will lead you up into the station itself. The platform is quiet, clean, empty–there's no one else around, and the only sounds you can hear are your own footsteps, your own breaths, and the occasional faraway sound of a creaking pipe or rush of air. The train you disembarked will stay there as long as you do, its doors still open, until you finally decide to venture up into this new locale.
As you make your way up the stairs to your left, you find yourself in the belly of City Hall station. The station is large, a sprawling underground mini-metropolis of corridors and storefronts. Here, you may find others like you, freshly-arrived city residents from other realms (or even your own). There is also a subway map, which will give you an idea of the layout of the neighborhood, and ticketing machines, which can currently only be used to buy tickets to a handful of stations located on lines 1, 2, and 9.
If you're hungry or in need of any kind of supplies, there are plenty of storefronts inside the subway station as well—snack stands, convenience stores, restaurants, clothing stores, a pharmacy, and a variety of empty shops that may or may not have ever been in use. Everything is unlocked, and you can take whatever you need.
Characters may stay on the train platform indefinitely, and may re-board and re-disembark from the subway as many times as they like, but the train will not depart nor will the doors close. Once they go up the stairs into the train station, they may hear the train doors closing and the train departing. Another train will not arrive, no matter how long the character waits. Only once they come up the stairs into the station itself may characters encounter their fellow newly-arrived residents and take advantage of what the city has to offer.
JUMP TO TOP ↑ | ↓ JUMP TO COMMENTS
WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
The station is located in the city center. It has three major exits that lead to areas of interest in the district, but there are several other smaller exits that lead in other directions around the neighborhood. You are welcome to use any of them, but may find the north, southwest, and east exits to be the most welcoming.
TO THE NORTH
The northern entrance to the station leads up into the sunlight and puts you out in a brickwork plaza. There's a modest building in front of you, three or four stories of stone with a welcoming facade. There's a sign above the entryway–it says City Hall. You may be tempted to explore, if you're interested in learning more about the city and how it functions, but prepare to find yourself disappointed–the folders in the records rooms are full of empty, blank sheets of paper, and the logbooks and balance sheets are similarly devoid of information.
Immediately to the west of City Hall, you will find a small building that houses the tourist information kiosk. The kiosk is not currently operational, but you may want to remember its location...
TO THE SOUTHWEST
The western exit of the station takes you up into a city park, lush and green with a very light fog still hanging about the trees. There are lampposts on the walkways and benches where you could rest, and plenty of flora, although you can neither see nor hear any signs of animal life. You walk the paths that meander idly through the verdant grass and you feel a sense of peace, some of your unease about this place easing into a pleasant calm. The air smells fresh, like it's recently rained, and you'll find the grass ever so slightly damp should you decide to take a seat.
As you make your way deeper into the park, the trees grow denser and the smell of soil and plant life grows stronger. This is the older part of the park, very nearly a forest, with ivy climbing the trunks of the trees and plants and shrubs growing riotously around their bases. As you turn a corner, you find yourself first in the statue garden, although the statues are harder to see now, choked as they are with ivy. There are many statues, some partially obscured, some fully–very few of them still stand free of the vines and clinging roots. (It doesn't feel quite as peaceful here.) If a statue's face looks a little bit familiar, you may not want to look at it too long.
Continue down the path and you will find yourself in a graveyard, one that seems centuries old. Most of the headstones are worn away by time and covered in moss, rendering them impossible to read. The few that are free of moss are blank, or bear only suggestions of names too faint to be understood. (Was that the name of–no, it couldn't have been. Could it?) Many of the headstones stand at an angle or are toppled over completely, having been subjected to either strong winds or the roots of the trees that grow up from some of the graves, spreading branches toward the sky.
TO THE EAST
The final exit of the station, to the east, puts you out on a quiet surface street. Are you hungry? Or are you paralyzed by choice? There are plenty of restaurants, offering options of almost any food you can imagine. You could try a convenience store–it's well stocked, and the items there seem free for the taking. How about a restaurant? There's no one to take your order, but when you look in the kitchen, there's something on the stove, and it's just what you've been craving. Imagine that.
A few blocks down, you come in through the lobby of a tall building and find yourself in a corporate office. The fluorescent lights are steady and unforgiving, and the cubicles and offices are empty. There are a few pieces of paper on desks, a few folders left in organizers, but everything is perfectly blank. Despite how empty and quiet the office is, it nonetheless gives you the feeling that just a few minutes ago, this place was bustling with workers going about their daily business.
You enter another building and find yourself in the lobby of an apartment complex–finally, a place to rest. The first door you try opens easily into a completely empty living room, freshly vacuumed but without a single piece of furniture. It's a nice apartment, quiet, but with a little too much echo for your taste, maybe. Still, and perhaps oddly, you have no trouble envisioning what life here would be like.
The second door you open leads to an apartment that feels lived-in. Why does it feel lived-in? It's fully furnished with items that seem to go together perfectly, true, but the feeling is more than that–the room feels like someone was just here, maybe standing right in the kitchen only moments before you swung the door open. The air is a perfectly comfortable temperature, and it somehow smells like home despite that you've never once set foot here before. The refrigerator is stocked, and the cabinets are full of spices and flatware and kitchen utensils.
As you look around the living room, you find that there are pictures in frames on the walls and some of the flat surfaces–a seascape, a field, a shot of a city park bench. In each of the photos there's something just slightly wrong with the angle, as though the photographer were aiming for a subject that can no longer be seen.
Characters are welcome to explore the district around the City Hall subway station to their heart's content. The City Hall building itself contains several floors of offices and file rooms, but none of them contain any particularly interesting information. Nonetheless, characters may wish to team up with other newcomers and try to find some hints about the nature of the city. They can also spend a while in the park, the statue garden, or the graveyard. In the blocks surrounding the station there are plenty of options for food and housing, as well as office buildings, storefronts, and alleyways to look around. There are no workers in any of the buildings, and there does not seem to be an honor system for payment, nor any consequences for taking food from the stores or setting up camp in an apartment or office building.
JUMP TO TOP ↑ | ↓ JUMP TO COMMENTS
A WASH, ANYONE?
The coin laundromat is tucked into the first floor of one of the tall apartment buildings. Soap is complimentary, and while the machines say that they cost a quarter per load, in reality they are fully operational without any money being exchanged at all. If you have any clothes that need a wash, perhaps items that have been dirtied by your explorations (or your travels before arriving in the city), you may want to take this opportunity to wash them for free.
From the soap dispenser, you can retrieve packets of detergent in different strengths. There's plenty of stock of for mild to moderate grime and for heavy-duty stains, but there are also a handful of packets with slightly less obvious purposes. For things remembered, says one. For unhappy accidents, says another. Feel free to use whichever seems most suited to your needs.
When your laundry cycle has ended, the buzzer sounds and the door pops open so the clothing can be retrieved. You grab a laundry basket and reach in to start pulling fabric out of the machine by the handful. But wait a second–the more clothing you retrieve, the less familiar the items seem, and by the time you've retrieved the last bundled sock from the depths of the dryer you're absolutely positive: These clothes don't belong to you.
You're sure that you put your own clothing into the machine, but these are someone else's clothes entirely. Did someone sneak in while you weren't paying attention and swap out your laundry? Or did you accidentally open up the wrong dryer to retrieve the wrong load? Maybe you'd better look around at whoever else is in the laundromat with you and have a go at trying to find the owner of these clothes.
Whether the characters have had their clothing swapped or simply opened the wrong machine to grab someone else's laundry is up to the player's imagination, but one thing's for sure: you have someone else's clothes in your basket. Maybe these are clothes that belong to another character in the laundromat, or maybe they're garments that belong to someone that character knew back home. Players are encouraged to mess around with the premise and use it to get to know other characters!
JUMP TO TOP ↑ | ↓ JUMP TO COMMENTS
COME ONE, COME ALL...
Have you ever noticed that flickering sign hanging in the window of that little building around the corner from the parking lot? The one that says PSYCHIC READINGS in bold neon lettering?
You step inside the shop and immediately smell a powerful combination of aromas: herbs, candles, incense, something spicy and warm underneath. It's a small space, cluttered with objects. A crystal ball covered in velvet sits in the center of a table, and there are tarot card sets and drawers full of dried herbs and flowers. On the shelves are various remedies with labels printed so neatly it's impossible to tell whether they're typed or handwritten. Headaches, or hemophilia, and also irascibility and fits of sighing. There are also jars full of less easily-identifiable contents, but a close examination may show you frog legs, fish eyes, rat tails. For some reason, it feels like sticking your hand in one of these jars might not be the best idea.
Toward the back of the shop is a glass case that holds the bust of a woman. As you approach, your movement triggers a light inside the case to illuminate the woman's face–or where her face would be, if she had one. The normal human features of her face are smoothed out until they barely resemble a face at all, with slightly hollowed divots for eyes and a faintly raised bump for a nose. The closer you get, though, the more strongly you feel that despite the absence of eyes, the woman is indeed watching you.
The lettering at the top of the case states FORTUNE TELLER, and a sign affixed to the front of the glass says, Ask for anything, but be careful what you wish for.
You form a question in your mind, then ask your question out loud. The woman shifts, straightening up, and you hear the faint whirring of clockwork and pneumatics moving inside her. She gathers her hands in front of her, cupping them like she's holding water, and strange light emanates from her palms, casting harsh illumination on the blank space where her face should be. Although she has no mouth with which to speak, you nonetheless hear a vaguely female voice intone, "Your fate has been read."
A paper slip emerges from a slot in the front of the case, your freshly-printed fortune, the ink barely dry.
Although the crystal ball will not actually show the future, characters with any kind of herbal knowledge may clock that the herbs and remedies in the drawers and shelves of the shop are legitimate. Characters can ask anything they want of the fortune teller, or make as many wishes as they like. They'll get as many fortune slips as correspond to the number of questions they ask. Players are encouraged to come up with whatever vaguely-accurate fortunes you think work for your character, but if you're low on ideas, you can always try an online Magic 8 Ball or fortune cookie generator.
JUMP TO TOP ↑ | ↓ JUMP TO COMMENTS
WILDCARD.
The city is by no means small, and there are plenty of things for you to see. There's no rush in exploring, so feel free to take your time looking around and peering into various nooks and crannies and alleyways—and don't worry, you're not very likely to find anything peering back.
If none of the above prompts appeal, feel free to check out the Locations and Maps pages and write your own freestyle prompt using one or many of the available locations.
JUMP TO TOP ↑
|
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
citycenter) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
citylogs2023-06-01 12:00 am
cw: minor homophobia
"Luo Binghe is Luo Binghe," he says firmly, "And I know Luo Binghe's heart. I know what kind of person he was, before his evil master and a cruel world broke that heart. I know how much he deserves retribution -- but he deserves kindness and -- and loyalty, too." Geez, get it together Shen Yuan! The word 'affection' had nearly slipped out of his mouth; he'd only been able to change it at the very last second! He was trying to swear fealty here, he didn't want to sound like he was trying to hit on Luo Binghe or something weird like that!
"You might not be the Luo Binghe I personally raised and betrayed, but..." Shen Yuan cleared his throat awkwardly. "I see no difference between him and the Binghe before me. And I'll always be concerned for Binghe, even if he tells me to leave his sight forever. A-anyway --" he says hastily, twisting his body to brush past the protagonist and reach for an unopened can of Yan Yans. If he's about to be executed for impertinence, he wants to die with frosting in his mouth!
"The technology and general aesthetic is pretty close to my world," he says around a full mouth. "But naturally my world was full of people, especially the city where I lived. I see two possible explanations for this world's empty state: either its people were all killed in some manner that left no trace of their bodies, or this world was created without people, just as a bird cage must necessarily be constructed without a bird inside it. I suspect we were brought here specifically to fill this city, though why or by whom I cannot yet guess."
no subject
(He perhaps considers, in a rare moment of self-awareness, that might have had something to do with tearing Shen Qing arm and leg off in the dreamscape, and later trying to simply replace the other Luo Binghe, but it's far from the worst thing he's ever done.)
He watches this Shen Qingqiu... Shen Yuan far more closely, his hackles up and his expression cold and guarded.
Pretty, empty words, he thinks, from just another sycophant. What are you, one of my wives or courtiers?
But whatever Shen Yuan is, he has useful information, and Binghe is a pragmatist at heart; he'll never completely destroy anything if it has some use to him.
He paces - or more aptly prowls back and forth like a caged tiger, the gears in his head turning.
"Another of those Systems perhaps...?" he suggests. "You spoke of yours like it treated you as some sort of plaything. Maybe these devices are extensions of its will."
There isn't much that could part him from Xin Mo or reduce him to such a weakened state... Not that he's going to admit any of that aloud. Better to play his cards close to his chest with this one.
cw: reference to attempted rape
And Luo Binghe really is his absolute favorite character.
He shrugs, fiddling with the now empty can of Yan Yans. "It seems a likely theory. I suspect there will be consequences to trying to throw the devices away, although I haven't tested it yet myself. The System I knew before was capricious and overly concerned with fictional tropes and storybook logic, but it could be bargained with. Perhaps the powers that govern this world will turn out to be the same way."
Not, he expects, that this will stop Luo Binghe from violently opposing them. He was the protagonist, after all. No way he'd just sit back and allow himself to be caged, no matter how comfortable it was.
no subject
"What do you mean by storybook logic, shizun?" he asks, his pacing coming to a halt for the time being.
The sharp, commanding note to his tone has vanished, and Binghe slides into the role of attentive pupil.
"Why would that System be concerned with such a thing?"
no subject
"I cannot speak of the System's true motivation," he finally says, after awkwardly clearing his throat. "There was much it refused to explain to me, many questions it refused to answer. But it was...obsessed with tropes and literary devices, with treating people as though they were characters in some grand epic...being performed for a bored audience. The best way I found to bargain with it was to make arguments based on what this hypothetical audience would find interesting, and which actions might best showcase the inner world of the character I was intended to play..."
A question suddenly springs to mind, and he can't hold himself back from wondering: "When Binghe was fourteen, did Shen Qingqiu ever send him to a nearby city to investigate a Skinner Demon?"
no subject
"You're wearing his face and playing his role," he remarks casually, not an ounce of malice in his tone. But this is Luo Binghe, original flavour; the things he's done with a smile on his face...
"Or do you plan to do away with that farce while here? ...Is that why you're asking about the skinner demon?"
He steps a little closer, his looming shadow covering Shen Yuan.
"...Is that what this shizun really is...?"
He knows it isn't, of course. Even Shen Qingqiu's considerable spiritual power would only sustain such a demon for a year or two before the skin began to shrivel and it would have to find a new host. But even if this is not actually Shen Qingqiu, seeing his face make those expressions, when even the most vile tortures only left him glaring at Binghe with bitter resentment...
...Well, who can blame him for going a little overboard...?
no subject
Close! Too close, why was Binghe looming at him like this??
"Binghe must know I'm not!" he says fearfully. "Can't the emperor of the two realms tell the difference between a demon and a human cultivator?" He's certainly laid enough of each, hasn't he?? Or is he just picking on Shen Yuan for the pleasure of seeing Shen Qingqiu's face make these terrified expressions??
Ugh! So unfair!
"Is this how Binghe intends to treat me so long as we're stuck here?" he asks sadly. "I've been nothing but honest and forthright, and still he only sees me as a convenient copy of Shen Qingqiu?" He sighed heavily, adopted a melancholy demeanor. "I suppose Binghe has little reason to trust me, especially with this evil face...but it still seems rather unjust..."
no subject
He doesn't understand it - this Shen Qingqiu - Shen Yuan is probably just putting on an act and Binghe has no reason to show him an ounce of kindness --
(He thinks back to soft hands and soft words for him, but not for him and a braid that's grown ratty, and wanting so badly for all of it to have been real.)
He casts an irritated look to the side and draws back, teeth gritted in a snarl.
"Tch. It's no fun if you're going to be so pathetic about it," he grouses, as if it's Shen Yuan's fault Binghe is a petty little tyrant.
He gives Shen Yuan a petulant look, like a child whose game has been interrupted.
"Why do you want to know about the skinner demon?" he asks waspishly, arms folded across his chest in agitation.
no subject
"Oh, nothing important," he sighs, keeping up the melancholy act and turning away to pick through the piles of candy he'd left strewn across the sales counter. All this stress and terror has completely killed his appetite, but Binghe doesn't need to know that. "I just wanted to know how it happened in Binghe's timeline, and how it differed from my own experience...but it's not important. If Luo Binghe's not interested in sharing that with me, it's fine."
He sighs again, laying it on a little thicker. "I just want to know more about my favorite person, that's all..."
no subject
He bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes salt and copper, his face set in a deep, frustrated scowl.
What kind of man was this Shen Yuan that he kept throwing Binghe off-kilter...?
"Don't try to flatter me," he growls. "I know how it went for you."
He returns to his pacing, feeling hot fury roiling in his belly.
"...I was sent alone. I always knew Shen Qingqiu disliked me, and that he was probably sabotaging my training, but that's the first time I got an inkling he wanted me dead."
no subject
This is deeply unexpected. Shen Yuan had always assumed that he was sent into the actual text of Proud Immortal Demon Way, but -- the presence of alternate timelines, with different versions of events -- it has implications that he's not comfortable with. If there are other Shen Qingqius who also did things differently from the original text, then what sets him apart? The fact that he's a transmigrator?
Unless...
no subject
"There was another like you."
Soft hands, soft words, for a Luo Binghe that wasn't Luo Binghe, and so he tried to poison it the way he poisons everything. Shizun was right; he is such a little beast.
"He must have been possessed by some other Shen Yuan. Thinking about it now, I can't imagine how shizun could ever be that... different."
no subject
Well, that's...That's definitely something. Another Shen Yuan, transmigrated into some other Proud Immortal Demon Way, with another Luo Binghe... He's not sure how he feels about that.
He thinks he might want to sit down, though.
Shen Yuan shoves some snacks aside and hitches himself up onto the counter, propping his chin up on one hand while he chews his lower lip pensively. "...How was he different?" he finally asks. "Was he...you know. Still intact?"
no subject
"He and his weakling disciple had settled down for an indolent life on Cang Qiong mountain."
He decides not to mention the first time he encountered that Shen Qingqiu in his dreamscape and happily gave him the same treatment as his old shizun. He'd only got as far as an arm and a leg before he faded though...
"I decided to play around a bit and give the quiet life a try, but..."
He shrugs.
"...It wasn't to my taste."
(And who was practically begging that kind shizun to come with him? After only a day and a half of experiencing a taste of the affection he and the other Binghe shared?)
no subject
"Huh...Genuinely would never have guessed that..." He stares down at the floor for a moment, at his boots. In his old Shen Yuan body, he thinks, his feet wouldn't touch the ground. But Shen Qingqiu is an exquisitely-sculpted beanpole, outwardly the perfect righteous cultivator in every way. But on the inside...who is he really?
After a moment he refocuses on Luo Binghe. "Binghe has always had a lust for adventure," he notes with a small, tentative smile. "Always sniffing around for trouble somewhere or another. It will be exciting to see him in action, when the powers that run this world finally show themselves."
no subject
Oh.
Does this Shen Qingqiu not know? Does he really not know?
This is good. This is too good.
Luo Binghe's mood lifts suddenly, and he prowls just a bit closer.
"Quite the opposite; they were very --"
His lips curl into an amused smile.
"-- fond of each other."
He takes another slow step closer, and when Shen Yuan doesn't spook like a particularly savvy deer, he takes another.
"What's the last thing shi--"
He stops himself, frowns, and then, very carefully, as if testing the waters;
"-- laoshi remembers...?"
no subject
Yes, please Luo Binghe, forget all about that wicked Shen Qingqiu! It's Shen Yuan hours now!
"If I answer that accurately, it will leave Binghe with more questions than answers," he says, with a warm little smile. "It was...hm...about three years after the Immortal Alliance Conference?" Three years after he'd thrown Luo Binghe into the Endless Abyss, he means. "I'd volunteered to help two other peak lords of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect investigate an outbreak of plague in Jin Lan City, which turned out to be the work of sower demons. I unexpectedly encountered Luo Binghe two years early, in the company of Huan Hua disciples. Binghe..." He sighs sadly. "Binghe had me accused of controlling the sowers, and setting them on the city...He even dragged that Qiu Haitang girl out of her sect to throw fuel on the fire. So I wound up arrested and locked up in the Water Prison -- of course I'd anticipated something like this happening eventually," he interrupts himself, with a smug little twist of his mouth. "Just not so soon. But I'd planned a contingency that I thought would allow me to survive my own death and escape Binghe's attention."
He still thinks it was a rather tidy little plan, to be honest. His only mistake was trusting that damned Airplane to look after the mushrooms!
no subject
"...You know how Shen Qingqiu's life was supposed to unfold," he concludes. "But you're not a seer."
He knows enough of those -- real and frauds -- to easily brush off that possibility.
Binghe is now once more in Shen Yuan's space, but he's not looming. Rather, he's peering intently at the other man, like he's just discovered some fascinating new magic plant.
"Did it not occur to you," he suggests, and for once there is only Binghe's baseline malice, the kind of background radiation of his personality that he cannot excise however favourably he may feel to another, "that changing Shen Qingqiu's entire personality would also change that other me...? And thus the events of the world...?"
He stares down Shen Yuan.
"He never hated you. Cang Qiong peak never burned and Shen Qingqiu was never executed."
He frowns, pensive as he thinks over why Binghe would bring Shen Qingqiu to the water prison, going over what he'd seen in that kind shizun's dreams and memories. Had the other him brought him there for malicious reasons...? No... he'd protected Shen Qingqiu from the Little Palace Mistress's whip. He'd...
"If I were in his place, if I had lived his life and it had been you and not Shen Qingqiu who had been my shizun," he says, "I would be angry, but I wouldn't be interested in revenge. All I'd want is to know why you had to push me into the Abyss. If being the strongest was really worth that hell."
His face contorts into a rueful grimace, and he pulls away, leaning against the counter.
"A shame it's the wrong Binghe who knows, isn't it?"
no subject
Fortunately Binghe has already brought up something for them to talk about, and there's absolutely no need for Shen Yuan to feign incomprehension as he stares at Luo Binghe as if the other man's started talking in a foreign language.
"...What is Binghe talking about?" he finally asks, bewildered. "I'm sorry, I don't -- of course my Luo Binghe hates me." He laughs awkwardly, already mortified just from saying this much, but tries to push the rest out: "How can he not? Maybe I changed a few minor things, but...I pushed him into the Abyss, doesn't Binghe understand that? I couldn't -- the System wouldn't let me get out of it." He stares down at his hands, unable to meet Luo Binghe's eyes. "So what if I didn't beat him every day? I still -- and even though he was only down there, the things he had to endure --" He shivers violently, closing his eyes. "It's not the kind of thing you can explain away or apologize for," he finally says firmly. "Even you -- you're only letting me live because I'm not the specific person who hurt you."
cw for possessive behaviour
He's feeling particularly vindictive now, angered on behalf of that other him, however weak and pathetic he may be, that Shen Yuan is so fucking blind.
"What an easy life laoshi must have lived," he says, voice low and eyes flashing dangerously, "that he thinks the love he gave his disciple is so a trivial thing that it changed nothing."
He would have settled for scraps and yet that other one was given a feast - does Shen Yuan not even begin to understand how much he changed? How important it was that even on the precipice of the Abyss, that he looked at his disciple with sorrow and regret rather than disgust and contempt? Does he not realize he changed everything...?!
Binghe very nearly makes the dreadful mistake of voicing this aloud.
Is this not exactly what he wanted...? Unfettered access to a kind shizun of his very own without that whinging brat in the way...? For this kind shizun to choose him instead?
(Come with me! he'd begged as he tore open a portal back to his own reality, but that Shen Qingqiu -- Shen Yuan had eyes only for the disciple he raised.
It's time for Luo Binghe to take what he is due - what he is owed. And the first step is to drive a wedge between Shen Yuan and his Luo Binghe.)
He draws back, brows furrowed in thought.
"But... I suppose if he realizes how little regard you have for such things, he would probably hate that. Laoshi really has gone and put his foot in it, hasn't he...?"
He smiles indulgently.
"Don't fear - if he shows up, this lord will keep you safe."
no subject
Those words strike a blow not even Shen Yuan's vast reserves of denial can reason away -- because, of course, they're perfectly true. Shen Yuan did have an easy life, didn't he? His family gave him everything he asked for, he was also secure in their love and positive regard -- it's one thing for him to read about and pity the suffering characters like Luo Binghe endured, but what does he know about living it himself? Could it really be that just having that suffering, that loneliness, alleviated for a little while, would make such a difference?
"Surely it can't be that bad," he says slowly, a last-ditch effort to talk himself out of the trap he's laid for himself. "Binghe is wonderful, it's not as though I'm the only one who l-loved him..." Yes, okay, so he loved Luo Binghe! Didn't he say so before? He loved that sweet little sprout, and he loved reading about the adventures of the grown-up chuuni! It was the fact that the one would inevitably grow up to the be other that had given him so much trouble, but that -- that's not the point right now!
"There's Ning Yingying," he tries to point out, "And Qin Wanyue, Qiu Haitang, even the Little Palace Mistress would do anything for him..." He doesn't need the withering look Binghe gives him to trail off, embarrassed and pained. Right, of course those aren't the same. Hadn't he already known he was the most important person in Binghe's life? Hadn't that been obvious from the moment the Meng Mo arc began, and he found himself in Binghe's dream realm instead of Yingying?
"...I didn't mean to," he finally whispers hoarsely. "It was never my intention to hurt him, it was the System..."
no subject
He never touched her again after that first time, even on their wedding night.
"Yingying hasn't changed much since she was fifteen," he says softly. His Ning Yingying is nothing like that capable young shijie he met when he visited that other Cang Qiong peak.
He knows why. His Ning Yingying wants to live in a fantasy where her sect and martial siblings weren't razed to ashes or tortured in pits of ants. She doesn't want to live in a world where her shizun was plucked apart, limb by limb, kept alive and in anguish until the bitter end.
"The rest of the wives love my power, my influence or my appearance, if they aren't in the harem by some political obligation."
He gently cups Shen Yuan's chin, tilting his head up to meet his gaze. His smile is so sweet he could almost be that little lamb Shen Yuan raised were it not for the fiery red of his eyes.
"You never meant to hurt anyone. That does make all the difference. At least to me."
no subject
"And...Binghe still wants me around?" he asks tentatively, gaze bouncing from Luo Binghe's arm to his scarlet eyes and then awkwardly skittering off into the middle distance before beginning the cycle over again. "Even knowing how badly I messed up with that other Luo Binghe?"
no subject
But for a lie to ever work, one must also pepper it with some modicum of truth.
"I know a great many things about you - almost as much as you seem to know about me -"
Quite how the latter is possible, Shen Yuan hasn't answered. But Binghe will wheedle it out of him. He's very good at wearing others down until he gets exactly what he wants.
"- So I may as well ask the very same of you. I cannot speak for your pupil but... this Binghe would have given anything for laoshi to have been his shizun."
no subject
He tried so hard to be a worthy shizun for the other Binghe. Maybe he'll do a better job being a laoshi for the adult version instead?
"Well, in that case," he finally says, embarrassed but doing his best to push through it. "Binghe should have whatever he wants." And he reaches out to pat -- not Binghe's head, he doesn't have the face for that! -- but his arm. "Leave it to laoshi. From now on, I'll look after you."