citylogs | [OPEN MINGLE]

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[OPEN MINGLE]

WHO: Everyone! It's a mingle!
WHAT: Discussing recent reveals about the simulation
WHERE: Pairidaeza Architectural Studio
WHEN: Feb 3rd morning to evening
WARNINGS: Potential existential crises, discussions of death, memory manipulation, basically everything to do with their actual situation in a simulated environment.

[The actual setup within the garage-turned-studio is away from all the actual workbenches.

On one folding table are copies of multiple documents available around the X: The main document is a summary of a resident from a prior iteration that's clearly been redacted via scanning copies with stuff blocked out. Additionally are copies of the most recent newsletter with the memo on the back and photos of the hotel journal printed in black and white.

Lined up on another folding table away from the one with the documents is an array of finger foods: hummus, chutneys, and yoghurt dips with a variety of sliced vegetables, cheeses, cold cuts, and fresh pita bread. cardamom cookies, panipuri, and both vegetable and chicken samosas take up the other side. Mint water and fresh juice are in pitchers to the center. It's actually a little crowded.

Chairs are set up in small grounds and around the document table. And finally, a whiteboard has been rolled in for people to make use of in group discussions.]

((This is a mingle, so everyone is encouraged to threadjack, make toplevels, etc prior plot mingles have been done. Alhaitham and Kaveh will be around and participating but not taking the lead beyond making sure people stay orderly in the studio and have enough papers.

If you character has discussed the simulation with either Kaveh or Alhaitham, you can also handwave they texted them directly about it.))

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[ The most. That's a categorizing question. It gives her a minute to take all that information, sort it, shove some of it back, coax out an answer, turning it over in regards to the person asking until she deems it's probably okay. ]

... I'm... not sure what this means for Magical Girls. What this means for what state I'm actually in, outside of this simulation...

I just... [ She sucks in a breath. ] I mean, it's more than that, I just didn't want to keep... having to deal with--feeling like I'm under someone's control again, even though I already more or less knew that's what everything was leading up to.

[Alhaitham's gaze flickers to her ring. He hums.] You worry that may not be reflective of its actual state.

[That it could be worse, from the strain. They don't know for sure what's happening to their bodies.]

Your situation is unique. But I think right now it's best to work on the assumption that what you see is true, because we've already done as much preparation as is possible if it's not. There must be a limit to how much they can fool you about yourself.

[And that includes the literal state of her soul. Much in the way that they can't afford to become paranoid knowing their memories have almost certainly been altered before. They need to find what they can trust, based on what seems likely.]

Yeah, I know... but if I don't know how long it's been...

[ Her fingers tremble, lightly; she curls them in towards her palm. ]

Magical Girls, for the most part... their magic gets weaker as they get older. If that's maybe why mine isn't as strong as I remember, even though people have said they were also dampened--

[ The problem with thinking more than she tends to let on is that her thoughts are racing right now. Possibilities. Concerns. The truth being threaded through all of it. And even so, despite that... ]

... I'm sorry. I know it's too early to assume that much and I don't have enough information to conclude it one way or another, it...

[ It's just. Overwhelming. A level of overwhelming she hadn't been prepared for. ]

I haven't heard you say anything that warrants an apology. [He nudges her arm with his.] But it is better not to spiral over hypotheticals that can be equally proven or disproven. For example, Vision abilities don't wane with age and yet mine continue to be less powerful.

[So it's one piece of evidence for, one piece against. And they could continue to spiral deeper into that debate, but what good would it do? Would Tsuruno really change her course if she could live in stasis here, at the expense of other people's freedom?]

Of course we'll have a situation to deal with on the other side of this. We don't know what it will be, but we're not helpless to it.

You want to go home, don't you?

I want everyone to be able to go to where they want to be. Me included.

[ And she nudges back, even if it's not at her usual level of energy. ]

I don't think people were ever meant to be put into experiments or controlled. No matter what, this is still against our will.

I think most places consider kidnapping and entrapment to be immoral. [Amused. And then he nudges her arm back.] "Where they want to be", huh? You and Kaveh are thinking of it the same way.

[For some people here, their home world isn't a place to want to go back to. Kaveh won't settle for just sending everyone back.]

I don't think it's a bad way to think.

[ It's not defiant; he wasn't being accusatory of her, or the comparison. ]

I just know, at least from getting to know people, sometimes where they came from isn't exactly where they want to go back to.

[Alhaitham hums in agreement. He knows some of those people, even.]

Hold onto that. Having focus on your end goal will give you the clear mind needed to actualize it regardless what obstacles occur. We have a group of people with diverse talents here.

Yeah... well, that's about how it always goes.

[ With a huff that's half-amused and half-tired. ]

I don't want to be a liability, in the end.

You're the last person I'm worried about being a liability. [He's ranking a teenager above literally everybody except himself.]

[ Wow everyone else should be really embarrassed-- ]

Not in the way you're probably thinking. But I appreciate it! You don't say nice things for the heck of it.

[They should be, but this is also Tsuruno they're talking about.]

There's no value in praise that isn't earned. [A beat. Alhaitham lifts his hand and looks, momentarily, unsure what to do with it.]

Tsuruno. [He settles for lowering it atop her head.] Right now, we have no evidence that you're any closer to becoming a monster than you were before. I'm not ignoring the risk, but I intend to see you out of here too.

...

[ Her head lowers a little, though it's not as though his hand is heavy.

It feels... warm. ]

I'm really... lucky, to know you. [ With a quieter smile. ]

For now, I'll just keep going and see if there's anything I need to change up, going forward. I know you guys wouldn't let me hurt anyone, if I messed up.

[Alhaitham stills. It's not a sentiment people tend to use when talking about him. To be lucky to know him. People so rarely want to, and he so rarely gives them the chance. Even with the spread of what he'd call positive connections, it's more accurate to say that they get what they get when it comes to Alhaitham.

His hand draws up and his arm folds across the back of Tsuruno's shoulders to tug her into a stiff side hug.] You're important to me, too.

[And that says everything and not enough, in the face of it all. That he doesn't want to have to kill her, but he will, but he'll put his time and resources into preventing it if he can. That he'll be here, and Tsuruno only needs to ask.]

[ Tsuruno's luck works in unanticipated ways, except when she really needs it to kick in. To keep a group of Magical Girls from getting crushed by buildings, for example. And that's usually how it goes, that if it's for the sake of someone else, the way it had been when she'd first made her wish to Kyubey, it'll work out. Sometimes to her own detriment, but she's long since accepted that.

But meeting the people here, the ones she'd give anything to protect, friends and family just as much as her blood relatives alike, maybe that's a rare case of her luck being just for her. Because if it wasn't for them, she's fairly certain she would have forced "fine" for as long as she could. Again, to her own detriment.

But this is Alhaitham, who barely makes any kind of affectionate gesture unless the other party is Kaveh, who chooses to reach out now and tug her against him and tell her that.

It's so simple, but it's also everything, and Tsuruno turns into it, burrows even, into that stick-stiff side as her arms wrap around him.

She's bad at asking. But she understands everything he hasn't said and this is its own kind of answer too. It's a thank you. A continuation, maybe, of the night he'd tried to kill her and she'd been afraid of losing him in her own defense. It feels like they've come a long way since then.

Muffled: ]

Stay with me for a little bit?

[Alhaitham is no stranger to loss, is the thing. His parents before he could remember them. His grandmother at a young age after that. Kaveh, once and always hovering at the edge of again. He has, on an average, lost more loved ones than he's kept. This isn't something that exists under his control. People exist outside his control, and his only power is in how much he'll decide to care about them--in how much room he'll give them in his world.

Tsuruno does not have long. The time Alhaitham has with her is even shorter. He had poured over documents late last night with Kaveh, over a single sliver of hope in a situation stacked out of their favor. He had faced with him again the reality that this shape they've built between them could be taken away on someone else's whim. And Alhaitham believed, with months of evidence, that given the time he and Kaveh would find their way here again. That this place would not undo them.

These other connections are much more ephemeral. His memories may end up the only proof that they ever existed to him, without even the physical proofs he surrounds himself with in their place. But there isn't a moment in knowing her that he would have chosen to care less. He doesn't want to forget Tsuruno.

Selfishly, only in the quiet of his mind, he doesn't want her to forget him either.

Tsuruno buries against him. Alhaitham's arm shifts to a more secure hold. He holds her with certainty, if not assurance.] As long as you want.

[Waiting out the experiment is a non-starter. They need to get out with themselves intact. That's the clarity of his focus.]

We'd be here a while. I have to share you.

[ She sounds a little amused, though thankfully her expression is hidden against his side. She won't keep him long, but this is a kind of stability she doesn't reach for very often. Even though she knows it'd be offered if she asked, even though she knows it'd be offered if she didn't ask, and how many times has she laughed it off and said it wasn't necessary when people did?

More than she wants to admit to.

But it's the closest thing to proof right now, that Alhaitham is here, that he's a warm, solid presence not only in her memories, but right beside her. Maybe that won't last, but she'll cling to it as fiercely as she can. ]

With who? [The brief quirk of his lips.] If Kaveh needs something, he can come over here.

[And like, screw everyone else, I guess?]

[ Wow!

But that gets a smile out of her, even if he won't be able to see it. ]

Making him work for it, huh.

It'll allow him to consider if what he needs is as important. [As if Alhaitham would ever turn Kaveh away, and as if Kaveh wouldn't approach anyway.]

[ Right, this seems like a hollow statement, but it means Alhaitham is staying with her, which additionally means Tsuruno can stay right where she is for a little longer. And stay she does, tucked close against him. ]

... I think I forgot... what it was like to let myself be scared.

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[OPEN MINGLE]

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