[ Is the monster part of his soul? Nikolai knows it shares his same body. The bandaged wound on his shoulder from where Tamar's axe caught him the night before is testament to that. But his soul?
He doesn't want to think about that.
Nikolai almost tells Onni not to stay all night. He doesn't want to be alone, but he can't stop thinking about how Zoya had looked on the awful ride back to the palace. She hadn't been able to look at him for more than a second at a time. His ferocious, unstoppable general had been afraid of him. Nikolai doesn't want to be looked at like that ever again.
But isn't it what he deserves? Onni should know the truth. It will keep him safer, in case something does go wrong. And Onni's safety - along with everyone else's - takes priority over Nikolai's sensitive feelings. ]
If you don't mind. Just... to be sure the chains are enough.
[ He exhales shakily, grateful for Onni's presence, his quiet voice, his generosity. Nikolai had been expecting it would take him some time to sleep in this foreign place, with the heavy cold chains wrapped around him. But Onni's voice is remarkably soothing; the alcohol doesn't hurt, either. Nikolai is soon fast asleep, breaths coming slow and even.
The monster does not overtake him right away. For a while he sleeps peacefully, still and serene. After twenty or so minutes that changes. Nikolai's hands clench and unclench, fingers curling and spasming. Then his fingers begin to grow, lengthening and sharpening at the tips, each morphing into a sharp, black talon. Those dark scars on his hands begin to grow, veins of black seeping across his skin like ink. They spread up his arms, the muscles beneath tensing as they go.
By the time the black scars reach his neck, Nikolai is beginning to struggle against the chains. He pulls at them, heels scuffing against the mattress, trying to get purchase. The chains hold fast, heavy links clinking as they are shifted.
Once the black veins have spread across Nikolai's face, his eyes snap open. They are pure, inhuman black. He growls, showing off a mouth full of long, needle-sharp black fangs. The monster turns its head, spotting Onni at once. The growl in Nikolai's chest grows louder, hungrier. The monster begins to yank at its bonds in earnest, snarling and snapping at Onni, its hunger all too obvious. When Nikolai twists to his side, Onni may catch a glimpse at the wings sprouting from his back. They are made of shadow, shifting and swirling like fog, flapping impotently as if they will be able to propel him free.
There is no recognition in Nikolai's face, no sign of sapience in his eyes. Just a trapped beast, malevolent with hunger. He continues to thrash, those too-long fangs snapping at the air as if he could take a bite of Onni even from this distance. ]
no subject
He doesn't want to think about that.
Nikolai almost tells Onni not to stay all night. He doesn't want to be alone, but he can't stop thinking about how Zoya had looked on the awful ride back to the palace. She hadn't been able to look at him for more than a second at a time. His ferocious, unstoppable general had been afraid of him. Nikolai doesn't want to be looked at like that ever again.
But isn't it what he deserves? Onni should know the truth. It will keep him safer, in case something does go wrong. And Onni's safety - along with everyone else's - takes priority over Nikolai's sensitive feelings. ]
If you don't mind. Just... to be sure the chains are enough.
[ He exhales shakily, grateful for Onni's presence, his quiet voice, his generosity. Nikolai had been expecting it would take him some time to sleep in this foreign place, with the heavy cold chains wrapped around him. But Onni's voice is remarkably soothing; the alcohol doesn't hurt, either. Nikolai is soon fast asleep, breaths coming slow and even.
The monster does not overtake him right away. For a while he sleeps peacefully, still and serene. After twenty or so minutes that changes. Nikolai's hands clench and unclench, fingers curling and spasming. Then his fingers begin to grow, lengthening and sharpening at the tips, each morphing into a sharp, black talon. Those dark scars on his hands begin to grow, veins of black seeping across his skin like ink. They spread up his arms, the muscles beneath tensing as they go.
By the time the black scars reach his neck, Nikolai is beginning to struggle against the chains. He pulls at them, heels scuffing against the mattress, trying to get purchase. The chains hold fast, heavy links clinking as they are shifted.
Once the black veins have spread across Nikolai's face, his eyes snap open. They are pure, inhuman black. He growls, showing off a mouth full of long, needle-sharp black fangs. The monster turns its head, spotting Onni at once. The growl in Nikolai's chest grows louder, hungrier. The monster begins to yank at its bonds in earnest, snarling and snapping at Onni, its hunger all too obvious. When Nikolai twists to his side, Onni may catch a glimpse at the wings sprouting from his back. They are made of shadow, shifting and swirling like fog, flapping impotently as if they will be able to propel him free.
There is no recognition in Nikolai's face, no sign of sapience in his eyes. Just a trapped beast, malevolent with hunger. He continues to thrash, those too-long fangs snapping at the air as if he could take a bite of Onni even from this distance. ]