[ Nikolai is about to simply affirm that yes the demon is that strong, but he pauses, forcing himself to think back. Normally, he tries not to dwell on the times the demon had successfully escaped. Doing so always leaves his chest tight with panic, and Nikolai rarely has any kind of privacy in which he could give in to that kind of weakness. So he just - avoided looking back, like those blurred disjointed memories were hot coals in his mind.
But if he tallies it up... ]
Actually, most of my escapes were times when we couldn't use the chains. I - have to travel quite a bit. For my job. And it was very important that no one got wind of what was happening to me. So, when I was away from the- from my home, I relied on sleeping tonics and friends to guard the door. But that was far from foolproof. But last time, I was in my chains, and drugged, and the thing still managed to get out.
[ He rubs at his forehead, worry clear in the lines of his face. ]
So it might be... getting stronger.
[ Nikolai grins when Onni asks if he is a blacksmith. A little of the defeat slips away from him, and there's a glimpse of a different sort of man entirely. He holds his head higher as he explains: ]
Not a blacksmith, but I have studied gunsmithing, among other things, and I'm sure a sturdy set of shackles would be considerably easier to design than a pistol.
[ It's nice, for just a moment, to talk about something good about himself. To remember he is not just a helpless victim of the monster. He's a man of many talents. ]
A campfire suits me just fine, although I do feel I need to point out that most houses belonged to someone else in the past.
[ Maybe Nikolai's perspective on the whole thing is distorted because of his background. So much of his life is weighed down by the weight of history that he has inherited. For him, the palace is full of ghosts. Ghosts of his father's crimes, of his brother's death, of the bloodshed of the civil war, of the negligence and cruelty of all the rulers who came before him. It's all haunted. He hardly even registers the oppressive weight of it anymore.
So they begin to head back to Onni's campsite, and Nikolai changes the subject, steering the conversation away from himself. ]
What sort of a place is Finland? Is it near the ocean?
no subject
But if he tallies it up... ]
Actually, most of my escapes were times when we couldn't use the chains. I - have to travel quite a bit. For my job. And it was very important that no one got wind of what was happening to me. So, when I was away from the- from my home, I relied on sleeping tonics and friends to guard the door. But that was far from foolproof. But last time, I was in my chains, and drugged, and the thing still managed to get out.
[ He rubs at his forehead, worry clear in the lines of his face. ]
So it might be... getting stronger.
[ Nikolai grins when Onni asks if he is a blacksmith. A little of the defeat slips away from him, and there's a glimpse of a different sort of man entirely. He holds his head higher as he explains: ]
Not a blacksmith, but I have studied gunsmithing, among other things, and I'm sure a sturdy set of shackles would be considerably easier to design than a pistol.
[ It's nice, for just a moment, to talk about something good about himself. To remember he is not just a helpless victim of the monster. He's a man of many talents. ]
A campfire suits me just fine, although I do feel I need to point out that most houses belonged to someone else in the past.
[ Maybe Nikolai's perspective on the whole thing is distorted because of his background. So much of his life is weighed down by the weight of history that he has inherited. For him, the palace is full of ghosts. Ghosts of his father's crimes, of his brother's death, of the bloodshed of the civil war, of the negligence and cruelty of all the rulers who came before him. It's all haunted. He hardly even registers the oppressive weight of it anymore.
So they begin to head back to Onni's campsite, and Nikolai changes the subject, steering the conversation away from himself. ]
What sort of a place is Finland? Is it near the ocean?