[ semi-open ] your faith walks on broken glass

[petsthedog]

WHO: Shinjiro Aragaki & assorted others
WHAT: An anniversary of a bad time comes around again
WHERE: Around the city
WHEN: October 4th
WARNINGS: References to death, drug use, suicidal ideation and behavior all likely in threads






[Starters in comments! Feel free to pm or pp @ goodluckmodes to plot or ask for a custom one!]

Comments

[petsthedog]

[Tch. This kid...he wonders if Amada even notices how he's contradicting himself. Saying it's not that he feels like he owes Shinjiro anything and then turning around and saying befriending him is the least he can do.

He lets out a breath that's edging on ragged; this conversation is wearing on him, but it's not one he feels he can walk away from.]

Don't you get it, kid? There's no least to it. You don't need to do shit.

[...

Something clicks at the back of his mind, suddenly. Maybe he's been looking at this wrong from the start.]

It ain't on you to be friends with me because the others ain't here, if that's what this is about. I'd kick Aki's ass if he ever asked you to make an effort for me.

[whatsamada]

No, he didn't, it's me that's making the effort. No one said anything at all.

[Which wasn't the complete truth. While the others might not have said anything, he could tell that they like him to try and make amends with Shinjiro should the day come. Not that they needed to ask as Ken was fully prepared to meet him again at some point in the afterlife.

But it seems that life at different plans.]

I...you don't have to accept it but I thought I should let you know.

[Because he can't deny that there was a hint of guilt under it all. If Shinjiro saved his life, the least he could do was try to get to know him better and try to make things easier for the both of them somehow.]

[petsthedog]

Tch, obviously. Can't exactly tell someone to make friends with a corpse.

[He can't help that light bit of impatience. He's trying to make a point here, alright!!]

I meant if he came here, he'd have no right to ask it of you, so if you're doin' this because it's what you think he'd want...there's no need for it.

[He hates this. The idea of talking about any of it freaks him out. Things were so much easier when Amada just wanted him dead.]

That doesn't mean I ain't still gonna have your back. We're still SEES, and I decided a long time ago my life'd be yours if you ever wanted it. But shit like this -- [he gestures, vaguely, to the whispering flowers] doesn't need to be your problem. You don't gotta feel like you need to care about me for us to still be teammates.

[whatsamada]

[Hearing a 'corpse' talk made Ken wince at his words. It just reminded him of what Shinjiro did for him and how much he regretted his actions. He really wanted to get to know him, he spent so much of his time thinking of revenge that he never truly understood him.

As much as he wanted to argue against what he might believe in, he couldn't. Not when he was just so insist on rejecting how much he truly cares about him.]

...I'm guessing you're going to keep on being stubborn no matter how hard I try.

[Which he can't blame him, not when things are just so rocky between them right now. With a sigh, he crossed his arms before moving forward.]

Just know that if you need anything, I'll help out okay? I'll have your back too.

[Although, with the say he was saying it, it almost felt as if he wouldn't mind risking his life again for him.]

[petsthedog]

[He still can't understand why Amada wants to try so hard, though. Every time he tries to ask, he just gets another answer that sounds like obligation or guilt, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to convince the kid that neither of those things should apply with him.

It hurts. He's tired. He sighs.]

...You don't need to. But I guess I can't convince you not to, either.

[whatsamada]

[Because stubborn is as stubborn does. If he was just as unyielding, so was he. Not after everything he been through, he couldn't allow himself to falter with his decisions. One wrong move and things would fall apart. This was no different as he gave a nod.]

Not really, I already made up my mind to keep trying to know you again and that I hope I can.

[While he knew he was posing his will on his teammate, he also knew was being selfish. However, if he wasn't being honest, he would regret it later.]

[petsthedog]

[It's not the answer he wants to hear, of course, but he's gotten worn out from this conversation, and ultimately relents slightly, if only to give himself space to retreat and lick his own wounds in private later.]

Mm. Guess we'll see how it goes.

[He breathes out an exhale to steady himself, then finally turns to the kid again.]

Ready to head back?