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[closed] Renewal

WHO: (

latersgators)

WHAT: Rosh Hashana celebrations

WHERE: Their apartment

WHEN: 15-17th

WARNINGS: None that I can think of?

He's. Not good at this. Holidays and stuff. Religion. He's not a good Jewish boy like Steven is and a lot of the holidays are wrapped up in bad memories of Mom. But here it is, by his calculation. He has no doubt Steven's gonna want to do something for it, so he tries to get a head start on it. There's no place to go to High Holy Day services as far as he knows. No synagogues that he's seen.

Besides, the whole atonement aspect of this holiday sets him on edge. Mom always made sure to remind him there's no atonement for what he's done and he's gotta say, she was probably right in this one case.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't make an effort. For Steven.

Steven's worth white knuckling his way through the holiday. Or trying. At least there will be wine.

"Hey, Steven!" He's not sure he's up, actually. He left him still snoozing away to go get the coffee on, the kettle ready if the other decides he'd rather have tea, and to try to plan some stuff for later. At least the holiday comes with a feast, but unfortunately? It means he's got to do some cooking and figure out the vegan options.

"C'mon, buddy. We gotta go to the store."

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Steven has, by some unholy miracle, managed to hold his tongue and not say 'Shanah tovah' even once throughout the weekend. He's kept himself busy making non-celebration food and if he had any thoughts, reflections, anything weighing heavily on his mind, he's certainly not said anything about it.

He has spent some quieter nights lost in his own thoughts though, and it hasn't been easy trying to shake off the bad habits of trying to stay awake for so long. So he's a little groggy when the smell of coffee hits, and slow to rouse when he hears Marc's voice drifting in from the kitchen.

The apartment they're squatting in has started to feel familiar, and little bits of Steven has crept in despite Marc's best efforts trying to keep things tidy. It does mean that Steven can climb out of bed and pad over to the kitchen while rubbing his eyes tiredly without tripping over any books or discarded clothes, at least.

"Are we out of food?" he inquires after failing to hold back a yawn. Marc has been adamant about not returning to the mall, so Steven assumes it's eggs or milk or some food-related thing he doesn't usually consume.

"Not exactly." He shrugs his shoulders watching Steven shuffle out of the bedroom. Maybe he can just forget the whole... holiday thing. It's not like Steven's mentioned it. Maybe they can just sweep it under the rug.

Except he doubts Steven would actually be happy about that at all.

"You look at the calendar lately?"

"Yeah. Yeah I have. It's Mexican independence day, did you know?" Steven's lips part and another sharp intake of breath, and Marc is probably bracing himself for a long spiel about the history of Mexico's independence and the confusion surrounding this and Cinco de Mayo, but Steven's chest sort of rises a little bit and he doesn't continue.

"Tacos are-- fairly easy to make. Vegan." He's never had tacos for Rosh Hashanah for as long as he remembers, but he probably made all those Rosh Hashanah traditions up in his head anyway and he's not against doing something different this year.

"I-- might skip the tequila though. If that's alright. Hey, more for you, right?" There's no way not to construe the laugh that follows as anything less than awkward, nervous and slightly cringeworthy.

"What?" Mexican Independence Day is not the answer he was expecting. He's expecting a weird, awkward history lesson that he'll have to tune out while he makes a shopping list, honestly.

"Do you actually want tacos?" That's not-- a traditional food, no. And he probably remembers the proper traditions more than Marc does. He's better than him at this whole... faith thing.

"It's Rosh Hashanah," he finally says. "Think wine's more appropriate, if we can find the kosher kind."

"Well, I mean, they're easy enough to make... you might like to try my pico de gallo." They have plenty of time now to do things in the kitchen where Steven usually worked long hours and Marc... was off doing whatever. They should put some effort into making meals rather than putting a dent on their stockpile of frozen microwave meals that was supposed to be for emergencies only.

"It-- yeah it's also Rosh Hashanah." The weight that Steven didn't even know was there is lifted off his chest almost instantaneously and he blows out a sigh between his lips. "I'm not sure we'd be able to find challah or well I suppose we could find dates and pomegranates and apples and jars of honey but you know maybe we could try making challah on our own I mean there must be recipe books somewhere and it wouldn't kill us to use eggs or milk or anything I think it'd be a lot easier for our first time just following the instructions you know--"

"Sure... I'd like to try your pico de gallo, Steven." He's-- probably had it before, when he's had the body and he feels like raiding the fridge for something that's not just bland rabbit food, actually... But whatever. If Steven wants to do something, he's not going to tell him no.

And there it is. Despite his own hangups with the holiday, it makes him crack a brief smile.

"Sure, why not? Let's try to make it." It's... probably not as hard as it seems, right? If they've got a recipe.

"We'll stop by a bookstore or something, see if we can get a recipe to use." If nothing else, it'll keep them busy enough that maybe Marc won't think about the bad shit Steven wasn't privy to.

Steven shuffles into the kitchen to try and make himself some tea. They've quite a day ahead of them if they're going to start preparing all this later today. Unfortunately he's been quite spoiled in London, able to buy these things off the shelf. Also mom used to send him--

"...Mom would send me dried fruit every year." He squints at Marc and decides not to jab him too much about it. There's pretending your mother is still alive and loves you very much and then there's Marc's brand of over the top gaslighting with postcards and gifts and whatnot.

"Say what you will about this place, but I do like the bookstores here." With any luck he'll even manage to drag Steven out of the bookstore once Steven drags him in. "I mean, I like the bookstores everywhere, but the collection here is quite... eclectic. You know it's not easy to have a bookstore give absolutely nothing away about where we are and what the sociopolitical climate might've been like before we got here. How the books are arranged, what genres you see first and what's at the back of the store, what books are on the shelves and what books are not on the shelves tell you a lot about the place. And yet here we are."

"Water should be hot." Look, he remembered to put the kettle on today. He didn't just feed himself caffeine. The mention of Mom has him wishing he had a little something extra in his own coffee as he takes a sip. Maybe he did go a little... too above and beyond.

But he'd just-- wanted Steven to be happy. He wanted him to think Mom cared about them at all.

"Yeah, well... just remember we're in there for a specific kinda book, alright? One they'll hopefully have." Surely there's some kinda recipe book they can find at least something similar in.

"You ever bake anything like that before?"

Steven frowns and shakes his head. "Never done anything too complicated in me life. I'm not as brilliant as I look." Not that baking is overly complicated but it's not like throwing a salad together or pushing a few vegetables around in a frying pan.

"You know I'm-- didn't you say I only popped up again a few months ago? I probably haven't done half the things I'd thought I'd done." His recollection is a fragmented mess of his own as well as Marc's imagination, memory and fantasy and he can't even begin to make heads or tails of it.

"You know me better than that. I'd spend the whole day at the bookstore if I could. Even if it is Rosh Hashanah. I'd spend the whole year there if-- if we're going to be stuck here that long. That's a wee bit daunting to think about innit?" He tosses the tea bag away carelessly and takes a small sip, turning to perch against the countertop.

"Least we haven't bumped into any evil magicians trying to kill us yet." Constantine doesn't count.

"You've been there since I was a kid, Steven. Maybe you didn't-- take over like that, not for months. But there's plenty of lost time when you were in charge, buddy." So plenty of time to do-- whatever it is he'd be inclined to do. Usually try to find his way back to London or something.

"It might be what happens though." Spending their whole lives here isn't the ideal, but spending a year? Might be something that happens.

"Mm." He hesitates for a moment. Maybe he shouldn't say anything, but apparently, Marc can't help but wreck a holiday in some way.

"Said he could get us out if he had his full power."

"I... might've offered to give Loki a hand, you know. Just with his magic."

Do you know how hard it is for him to find his way back to London, with no passport and no clue where in the world Marc's dumped them off in and all that? It's bloody awful.

"Oh yeah? Because the last time you made a deal with a god went so well for us didn't it," Steven can't help but jab, because... Marc... Why would you do that again after everything they've been through? Steven can't help but sigh and run his hand over his hair, as though he could do anything to tame the wild mess he's got. Marc makes it sound so naughty, too. Give Loki a hand with his magic... come off it.

"Wasn't he the fellow on the telly who tried to enslave us all or wotever?" Steven can't possibly be the naive and trusting one right now, honestly...

It wasn't like it was intentional! C'mon.

"It's not like that. It's not like I'm bound to him or whatever." It's not his fault if Steven's getting any weird impressions about Marc giving Loki any other sort of hand...

"I'm not saying we trust him completely, you know? Just if he can get us back home..." Well, they ought to take it, right?

"You don't want to be here forever, right? So let me work with the guy and see if he's capable of even half of what he's insisting."

Oh no, not bound to him, just giving him a hand job or whatever. So much better, Marc.

"Did he say what he wanted in return?" They're not so lucky to get anything for free, even if it's going to be a mutually beneficial arrangement.

"Just be careful, alright? They're tricky to work with. And I don't want you to get hurt." And that's saying a lot coming from one of the most trusting people that Marc knows.

It is perfectly PG! It's not his fault that Steven is thinking all the wrong things!

"I didn't ask." Other than stressing he'll pay it. He's not having Steven pay for his decisions.

"Stop worrying about me. It's this place that's gonna end up driving me crazy." He pauses, shrugging his shoulders. "--Er. I just want to make sure I can get you back home, Steven."

Edited 2023-10-03 07:16 (UTC)

"Sometimes I think it's nicer than London." Steven shrugs. "It doesn't rain as much, that's for sure. Of course, I miss whoever you replaced Gus with, and my books. Layla. But if you were looking to start over, it's not so terrible here..."

And he was, a little bit, wasn't he? Looking to start over. Life after Khonshu. Life after marriage, if he's still-- wanting to pursue that. And there's very little in this city that reminds him of home, or his old life.

"Not saying that we ought to stay here long term or anything... but we could be trapped in worse places I s'pose."

"I wonder if they have fish here..." He's not really thought to look, actually, but maybe Steven would like a new pet to fuss over that Marc can't unintentionally kill or whatever.

"There could be worse places I guess. As long as you keep away from the mall." And the bank.

Whatever.

"You're really doing okay here?"

"Haven't seen any." Steven's not ruling the existence of fish out, nor is he particularly against keeping one as a pet here. But he doesn't want to give off the impression like... he takes in a deep breath as he tries to describe it out loud. He's not sure how else to think and talk about it.

"But don't you-- feel like we're squatting or wotever. I mean this must be-- you know, people coming back from the blip and randomly find you and me just living in their flat. Got comfortable enough to use their clothes, sleep in their beds and rear fish on their countertops. You don't feel like... we're violating something?"

"Steven--" He starts. "This isn't a situation like the blip, buddy. At least... I don't think so. I don't think it's a case where we're going to just... see people show back up wanting their homes back."

He doesn't know what's going to happen, honestly. "We're surviving, that's all."

"You don't know that," Steven insists quietly. He's heard on the grapevine that more people are disappearing. Who knows where they've gone? It's all very awful and mysterious (in a bad way) and unpredictable and ominous.

"We're surviving in comfort. And I'm not against it! I just don't want to get-- too cozy. I don't like it when I-- when things move. While I'm gone. It feels terrible. Like you're going crazy and then-- and also. That someone else has been in your space and touched your things. Done-- strange things in your home. I mean-- I don't mean like us. I'm. A different sort of violation in your life. As you are in mine. But it's just. We have to live like this. And you can violate me in any way you like. I mean that. But not-- not the people who used to live here. I'd hate to make them feel... the way we feel. When we wake up and everything is just all wrong. And something's happened to us, because of us, and we don't know what."

"Okay... first off? Don't say violate like that." And for the love of whatever Gods are out there, don't say that in front of anyone else or people are going to think... the very wrong things about them.

"Second, take a breath. We don't know shit about what's going on here. We don't know whose fault it is. All we can do is try to figure it out and in the mean time, live as comfortably as we can. I'm sure-- whoever comes back, if they do, will get that, Steven."

He has to stop for a moment, roll his shoulders to try and get the tension out. "Anyway, I don't think it's exactly like when we black out, buddy. Not like we'd keep their apartment if the actual owner did turn up anyway."

But Marc... it is a violation... And Steven Grant is very much an unnatural aberration by any standard of the imagination.

"Yeah. Yeah alright." Steven sounds a little quieter, a little more defeated, but he doesn't want to argue. It's supposed to be a festive family occasion - he doesn't want to ruin it with arguing, regardless of how strongly he feels about anything.

"If it's of any consolation, there's no one else I'd rather sleep on the streets with!" Steven proclaims cheerily. There's nothing fun, exciting or happy about that, but all things considered, he'd rather try and weather anything and everything the city can throw at them with Marc than without. Even if Marc is his own person now and can choose to not deal with Steven if he doesn't want to. At least Steven knows he's made it clear that he's choosing to be with Marc, and will stick around if it's what Marc wants too.

"You'll have to show me how to-- light a fire in one of those metal barrels. And all the other romanticised things people living in terrible conditions do on the telly."

He breaths out a sigh before he tries to give Steven a more reassuring look. He doesn't want to argue about-- violations and apartments and gods. He just wants a semi-normal holiday that doesn't end in tears. Hopefully.

"We're not out on the street yet, buddy, and we're not gonna be. Okay?" He reaches over to give his shoulder a quick pat.

"C'mon, go get dressed and we'll check out the bookstore, okay? First, we worry about the holiday, then we worry about lighting fires like hobos. Deal?"

They've never had a semi-normal holiday... Like, ever...

"Yeah alright." Steven hums as he sets his empty teacup down, does a happy little twirl, and rushes out of the living room area and into the bedroom to put on some extra layers. Okay fine, he'll get changed first, because he shouldn't wear sleepwear outside.

Steven doesn't bother matching anything other than his socks. He hastily puts on very muted colours of slightly oversized shirt and jacket, and mostly fitting joggers before hurrying back to the kitchen again.

"Oh! I should bring a tote bag. Just in case. You know." He wants to take a wheelbarrow of books out of the store.

No, but hey, there's no time like the present, right?

And if it means stuffing Steven so full of books, he can't think about who lived in this house before them? Well, he will gladly do that. He's gonna put them up on the shelves though, no debates.

He won't even comment on the... outfit Steven chooses for himself. Beyond a sigh, that is. He looks-- comfortabe at least.

"Yeah, alright. Go grab one. And don't forget! We gotta hit up the grocery store too. Got a lot of cooking ahead of us."

It's slim pickings when you're raiding through someone else's wardrobe. And also Steven has no concept of what rappers with oversized clothes might look like. He returns to find himself a bigger-than-average tote bag and tries to fold it up small as if Marc won't notice, stuffing it into his pocket but letting it poke out for easy access.

"Alright. I'm ready." He'll just do some tidying up in the kitchen before they leave the flat. He's perfectly capable of taking care of himself - them both, actually - and not making a mess everywhere... despite what Marc believes.

"Right." He sees that tote, Steven. That really big tote that they don't need. He huffs out a sigh, already resigned to it being loaded with books before the day's over with as he reaches over to pat Steven's shoulder.

"C'mon, buddy. Let's go see what we can find." He gives a thoughtful hum.

"First time we've done more than basic cooking... together, at least. Huh?"

It's a tote bag. Not a gym bag, not a wheelbarrow, not a check-in sized luggage bag. Just a tote. Relax, Marc. It's not bigger on the inside or anything...

"You up for it?" Steven teases with a wee shoulder nudge. He can be a little useless at cooking... but he can follow recipes if he doesn't get distracted and anyway, vegan cooking if it's Marc's idea of vegan cooking which mostly involves taking the meat and dairy out of a dish can be a lot simpler.

"I think it's nice. You and me. Even if the city is... doing its own thing. I'd rather be here with you than not, cooking or otherwise."

If he could get away with a gym bag or a wheelbarrow? He absolutely would and Marc knows that much.

"Yeah, sure. And if all else fails... well, we'll grab a couple TV dinners or something." There are vegan ones, right? Probably. He's never checked that close, but...

It doesn't matter. Steven says that, and he can't stop a smile. However fucked up it is, this... thing between them. Everything about their lives. He nudges a shoulder into Steven affectionately. "... Me too, buddy. Wouldn't choose to be anywhere else."

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[closed] Renewal

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