citycenter: (Default)
The City ([personal profile] citycenter) wrote in [community profile] citylogs2023-08-02 12:00 am

TDM: AUGUST 2023





TEST DRIVE MEME

A TRAIN COMES INTO THE STATION.
You wake up on a train.

Your phone is buzzing. It's in your pocket, in your hand, on the seat next to you. It's a normal phone, and you're on a normal train car. One of the lights flickers, a little further down. The world is very quiet. It feels like you're right where you're meant to be. On the phone's surface is a white screen and the words—


WELCOME TO THE CITY. BEGIN ORIENTATION?

▶ YES
▶ NO


Please take a moment to complete your orientation.

Once you're finished, the subway doors slide open to let you out onto the train platform. To your right, the platform continues on and eventually ends; to the left is a set of stairs that will lead you up into the station itself. The platform is quiet, clean, empty—there's no one else around, and the only sounds you can hear are your own footsteps, your own breaths, and the occasional faraway sound of a creaking pipe or rush of air. The train you disembarked will stay there as long as you do, its doors still open, until you finally decide to venture up into this new locale.


As you make your way up the stairs to your left, you find yourself in the belly of City Hall station. The station is large, a sprawling underground mini-metropolis of corridors and storefronts. Here, you may find others like you, freshly-arrived city residents from other realms (or even your own). There is also a subway map, which will give you an idea of the layout of the neighborhood, and ticketing machines, which can currently only be used to buy tickets to a handful of stations located on lines 1, 2, and 9.

If you're hungry or in need of any kind of supplies, there are plenty of storefronts inside the subway station as well—snack stands, convenience stores, restaurants, clothing stores, a pharmacy, and a variety of empty shops that may or may not have ever been in use. Everything is unlocked, and you can take whatever you need.



Characters may stay on the train platform indefinitely, and may re-board and re-disembark from the subway as many times as they like, but the train will not depart nor will the doors close. Once they go up the stairs into the train station, they may hear the train doors closing and the train departing. Another train will not arrive, no matter how long the character waits. Only once they come up the stairs into the station itself may characters encounter their fellow newly-arrived residents and take advantage of what the city has to offer.

JUMP TO TOP ↑ | ↓ JUMP TO COMMENTS

WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
The station is located in the city center. It has three major exits that lead to areas of interest in the district, but there are several other smaller exits that lead in other directions around the neighborhood. You are welcome to use any of them, but may find the north, southwest, and east exits to be the most welcoming.
TO THE NORTH
The northern entrance to the station leads up into the sunlight and puts you out in a brickwork plaza. There's a modest building in front of you, three or four stories of stone with a welcoming facade. There's a sign above the entryway—it says City Hall. You may be tempted to explore, if you're interested in learning more about the city and how it functions, but prepare to find yourself disappointed—the folders in the records rooms are full of empty, blank sheets of paper, and the logbooks and balance sheets are similarly devoid of information.


Immediately to the southwest of City Hall, you will find a small building that houses the tourist information kiosk. It looks welcoming, with an inviting glass facade and a sign above the entryway announcing it as the "TOURIST CENTER." It's a humble building with a receptionist's desk on the back wall opposite the entrance, empty magazine shelves lining the side walls, and a few spinning brochure racks full of blank pamphlets. Anyone is welcome to peruse the tourist literature, though they won't offer much information, being primarily filled with pictures of the surrounding area—City Hall, the park, a statue garden, and the surprisingly heavily-featured cemetery. There are a few sentences sprinkled throughout about basic offerings of the city, such as apartment complexes and office buildings, as well as a few maps with the same limited scope as the larger version on the wall behind the receptionist's desk.


The main feature of the tourist center is the interactive kiosk installed dead in the center, right in the middle of a few rows of uncomfortable chairs that fill the small room. It's noticeably in the way of any would-be foot traffic through the tourist center, and something about the technology seems a little more modern than the computer behind the desk or the landline phone on the wall. The kiosk is a tall silver rectangle, about average adult height, and the upper half is a screen welcoming visitors to touch it to activate the kiosk. If you were to touch it, the screen would come to life with simple dialogue inviting visitors to ask it their questions.

However, residents should note that the kiosk is only programmed to assist with exploration within the available areas of the city. It may not be able to answer every question, and tampering with the kiosk may result in unreliable or inaccurate answers!
TO THE SOUTHWEST
The western exit of the station takes you up into a city park, lush and green with a very light fog still hanging about the trees. There are lampposts on the walkways and benches where you could rest, and plenty of flora, although you can neither see nor hear any signs of animal life. You walk the paths that meander idly through the verdant grass and you feel a sense of peace, some of your unease about this place easing into a pleasant calm. The air smells fresh, like it's recently rained, and you'll find the grass ever so slightly damp should you decide to take a seat.


As you make your way deeper into the park, the trees grow denser and the smell of soil and plant life grows stronger. This is the older part of the park, very nearly a forest, with ivy climbing the trunks of the trees and plants and shrubs growing riotously around their bases. As you turn a corner, you find yourself first in the statue garden, although the statues are harder to see now, choked as they are with ivy. There are many statues, some partially obscured, some fully—very few of them still stand free of the vines and clinging roots. (It doesn't feel quite as peaceful here.) If a statue's face looks a little bit familiar, you may not want to look at it too long.

Continue down the path and you will find yourself in a graveyard, one that seems centuries old. Most of the headstones are worn away by time and covered in moss, rendering them impossible to read. The few that are free of moss are blank, or bear only suggestions of names too faint to be understood. (Was that the name of—no, it couldn't have been. Could it?) Many of the headstones stand at an angle or are toppled over completely, having been subjected to either strong winds or the roots of the trees that grow up from some of the graves, spreading branches toward the sky.
TO THE EAST
The final exit of the station, to the east, puts you out on a quiet surface street. Are you hungry? Or are you paralyzed by choice? There are plenty of restaurants, offering options of almost any food you can imagine. You could try a convenience store—it's well stocked, and the items there seem free for the taking. How about a restaurant? There's no one to take your order, but when you look in the kitchen, there's something on the stove, and it's just what you've been craving. Imagine that.


A few blocks down, you come in through the lobby of a tall building and find yourself in a corporate office. The fluorescent lights are steady and unforgiving, and the cubicles and offices are empty. There are a few pieces of paper on desks, a few folders left in organizers, but everything is perfectly blank. Despite how empty and quiet the office is, it nonetheless gives you the feeling that just a few minutes ago, this place was bustling with workers going about their daily business.


You enter another building and find yourself in the lobby of an apartment complex—finally, a place to rest. The first door you try opens easily into a completely empty living room, freshly vacuumed but without a single piece of furniture. It's a nice apartment, quiet, but with a little too much echo for your taste, maybe. Still, and perhaps oddly, you have no trouble envisioning what life here would be like.

The second door you open leads to an apartment that feels lived-in. Why does it feel lived-in? It's fully furnished with items that seem to go together perfectly, true, but the feeling is more than that—the room feels like someone was just here, maybe standing right in the kitchen only moments before you swung the door open. The air is a perfectly comfortable temperature, and it somehow smells like home despite that you've never once set foot here before. The refrigerator is stocked, and the cabinets are full of spices and flatware and kitchen utensils.


As you look around the living room, you find that there are pictures in frames on the walls and some of the flat surfaces—a seascape, a field, a shot of a city park bench. In each of the photos there's something just slightly wrong with the angle, as though the photographer were aiming for a subject that can no longer be seen.



Characters are welcome to explore the district around the City Hall subway station to their heart's content. The City Hall building itself contains several floors of offices and file rooms, but none of them contain any particularly interesting information. Nonetheless, characters may wish to team up with other newcomers and try to find some hints about the nature of the city. They can also spend a while in the park, the statue garden, or the graveyard. In the blocks surrounding the station there are plenty of options for food and housing, as well as office buildings, storefronts, and alleyways to look around. There are no workers in any of the buildings, and there does not seem to be an honor system for payment, nor any consequences for taking food from the stores or setting up camp in an apartment or office building.

JUMP TO TOP ↑ | ↓ JUMP TO COMMENTS

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM.
Have you ever visited the ice cream parlor located in District 2? It's a pretty quirky little joint!

When you walk in, what you'll likely notice first is the colors. Everything is bright, almost oversaturated—the pink of the leather seats, the teal of the walls, the red of the menu sign hanging over the counter. By all rights it seems like these colors shouldn't go together, but somehow they do, or maybe that's just because being in an ice cream parlor puts you in a good mood. It smells like waffle cones, and overhead, there's music pumping through the speakers at just the right volume, providing some nice background noise to your decision-making process.


Wait, music?

There's a jukebox at the far end of the shop, which seems to be where the music is being chosen. As you head over, the song comes to an end and the jukebox machinery shuffles through its options before landing on a new one. The song sounds sort of familiar, doesn't it? And the longer you listen, the more the lyrics really seem to speak to you. It costs money to pick your own song, so if you happen to have some coins on you—or if you're really, really determined—you can choose the next round of tunes.

When you're done at the jukebox, you can go check out the serving area of the shop. Behind the counter you can see milkshake mixers and waffle cone makers; there are ice cream cakes in the freezers that line the wall; and when you approach the main counter you can see the tubs of ice cream in almost any flavor you can imagine.


Pick a flavor, whichever one's your favorite! Do you want it in a cone or in a bowl? There are regular cones and waffle cones, and all kinds of toppings—sprinkles, syrups, gummy candy, mini marshmallows. Decorate your ice cream however you want, the sky's the limit when it comes to choices! You can even come back for seconds if you want, or thirds. Who's going to say anything about it, after all?

But the more of your ice cream you eat, the more you start to feel… strange. Maybe you're starting to get angry, or sad, or giddy—maybe you feel romantic, or feel like you want to tell a secret to a stranger, and you're not really sure why. You also can't quite seem to stop eating your ice cream, and the more you eat, the less worried you feel about whatever's happening to your emotions. After all, why be concerned about that when you have something so delicious in front of you?

Flavor Effect
Strawberry You find yourself compelled to seek out strangers and tell them a hidden truth about yourself
Rocky Road You find yourself compelled to seek out strangers and convince them of some egregious lie
Vanilla You are overwhelmed by a sense of total calm, and can only speak in aphorisms and platitudes
Rainbow Sherbert You are overwhelmed by amorous feelings towards whoever is near you and try to cuddle or kiss them
Chocolate You feel suddenly morose about something in your past and cannot stop crying until someone consoles you
Bubblegum You become uncontrollably giggly and giddy, and can only speak in rhyme
Caramel Ribbon You become angry and perhaps even violent, trying to attack anyone who comes near
Mint Chocolate Chip You suddenly have a common but exaggerated phobia (for example, a fear of heights where the step down off the curb is too much)



When characters first enter the ice cream parlor, they may notice that there's music playing overhead! That's from the jukebox, and the lyrics of the song may sound like they're particularly apt for a character's circumstances. Players are welcome to choose their own jukebox songs for their characters—it doesn't need to have appeared in canon, but characters from modern times are welcome to recognize the music being played. (Players can also feel free not to pick a real song at all, and instead just describe the overall sound of the song and content of the lyrics!)

This is an ice cream parlor, so of course there's also ice cream to be had. Characters can serve themselves whatever flavor combination they want, but shortly thereafter will find themselves suffering certain emotional effects depending on what flavors they chose. These emotional effects, shown above, will last for roughly an hour before slowly dissipating, and their intensity depends on how much ice cream the character ate and whether they were able to recognize what was happening and stop eating. Not every flavor has an emotional effect, so players can also choose to have their character eat a normal scoop and go about their day.

JUMP TO TOP ↑ | ↓ JUMP TO COMMENTS

WILDCARD.
The city is by no means small, and there are plenty of things for you to see. There's no rush in exploring, so feel free to take your time looking around and peering into various nooks and crannies and alleyways—and don't worry, you're not very likely to find anything peering back.



If none of the above prompts appeal, feel free to check out the Locations and Maps pages and write your own freestyle prompt using one or many of the available locations.

JUMP TO TOP ↑



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whatsamada: (Rainbow in the Dark)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-02 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[The more that Ken thought about it, the more he wondered just what this city was doing. There was no way that they played this song by pure accident, they had to have known what kind of world he was from. Were they playing it because he was here in the parlor or was it some kind of trick? He didn't know but he really couldn't be overthinking it.

And yet, could anyone blame him?

Without his teammates to help him, he was all on his own here. While there were others in the same predicament as him, it felt a little awkward asking them for help when they had their own issues. Not when he knew that he could take care of himself just fine. However, in the midst of his own thoughts, he heard a voice. He could have sworn that he was hearing things. With the song playing in the background, it would be surprising that his own mind was tricking him.

But when he looked up? His face suddenly turned white. Not way, he thought, it couldn't be...]


Aragaki....san?

[What was he doing here? He shouldn't even be here! ...Should he?]
Edited 2023-08-02 20:29 (UTC)
petsthedog: (pic#12716762)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-02 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well then.

Shinjiro decides, then and there, that his old theory about this being some kind of purgatory or afterlife can go fuck itself. He'd already had his doubts at this point, considering the presence of immortals and demons from hell and such, but much more importantly, he doesn't want it to be true anymore. Not if Amada's here.

The trouble is, even with that decided in the privacy of his own mind, he truly has no idea what to say to him. When he'd been bleeding out in that alley, he'd gotten out everything he wanted the kid to hear from him, and he was supposed to be out of the kid's life, giving him some god damn closure. That was about the only thing in his life he'd felt he'd done right, and yet here he is now, face to face with the kid whose life he ruined, now apparently older. There's a part of Shinjiro that wants to know how he's been, if the group succeeded in stopping the Dark Hour, what he's doing with his life now, but it's not as though he has the right to any of that information. He's nothing more than a phantom, a dead man walking beyond his expiration date, and he should be firmly in Amada's rearview by now.

He still wants to run, and maybe the kid would think he just imagined it, a trick of the light, manifestation of anxiety in this strange abandoned city that is a little too reminiscent of the emptiness of the Dark Hour.]


Guess it'd be bad taste to say you look like you've seen a ghost, huh.

[...]

[Well, he hadn't anticipated the first thing to come out of his mouth to this kid to be that stupid, but at least now that he's gone and embarrassed himself they can get on with this and hopefully Shinjiro can steer him toward someone responsible enough to watch his back and then yeet himself back OUT of his life, like he belongs. It's fine. He's so fine.]
Edited (bury me in typos) 2023-08-02 21:06 (UTC)
whatsamada: (Chop Suey)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-02 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ken didn't hear what Shinjiro said at first. All he could do was stare at him as he wondered what this city was trying to do. Was this a figment of his imagination or was he truly here. As he continued to stare, he didn't know what to say. There were so many words he wanted to speak but he just couldn't. Not when the dead had somehow risen from their grave.

Unconsciously, he found himself getting up from the table and walking toward him. Face still pale as he felt a cold sweat. In the back of his mind, he wanted to say that Shinjiro wasn't here. His mind was playing tricks on him and yet, a part of him desperately wanted to believe that he was truly here.

It wasn't until that Ken got closer that he finally said something.]


Is...Is that really all you have to say when you're here? H-How am I supposed to react?

[He said in a low whisper as if he still couldn't believe what he was seeing. And yet, he could feel his eyes starting to swell up. He really couldn't be here, he just couldn't. Was this city just playing on his emotions and haunting him? Or were they giving him another chance to make amends with his teammate? And if that means the dead could also be here, what does that imply?

He didn't know but he couldn't think about it for long. Not when he found himself crying. Mumbling to himself, he wiped away the corner of his tears.]


This is so embarrassing...

[So much for trying to appear mature for his age, right?]
petsthedog: (pic#15324092)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-03 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Something frankly short-circuits in Shinjiro's brain when Amada starts crying. He's already the kind of person who feels desperately awkward when someone cries, unprepared and ill-equipped to offer anything like comfort, but this is on another level. His first instinct is a sort of panic, a hand sort of half-stretched out in an aborted attempt to set it on the kid's shoulder before vehemently thinking better of it.]

Ah--hey...don't--

[Fuck. Shit fuck. He doesn't know what to do, and somewhere in the midst of his mind racing it suddenly slams into him like a truck that the tears are about him, and that grinds all of his ability to think coherent thoughts to a screeching halt. It just -- he can't twist it into a shape that makes sense. Amada had looked horrified when he'd been dying back then, yes, but Shinjiro had assumed (had convinced himself) it was just the shock of the situation, the adrenaline of having almost been murdered. The kid had every right to hate him. The idea that he did made it easier for Shinjiro to stand himself, most days.

He doesn't deserve his tears, or his grief, and Shinjiro honestly can't help but feel a sense of frustration well up once he realizes what's happening. He can't stop messing up the kid's life, can he. He's clearly had years to put all this shit behind him, and here Shinjiro is to rip it all back up and make him relive it fresh. He's so tired of himself.]


...Shit.

[It's too late to run now, and part of him regrets it. He wonders if it would've been better to simply avoid him, but on some level he knows he couldn't have. That's why he came back to SEES, after all -- there was no escaping the sense of obligation he had to the kid, no matter how uncomfortable with himself he might feel.

At length:]


I don't have anything to say. I shouldn't be here still breathin', but I am. Doesn't stick here, for some reason. If you never wanna see my face again, say the word and I'm gone, I swear.

[He'll just. He'll ask Kitsuragi to look out for him. One favor, and he'll never ask anything of him ever again. Kitsuragi's a good man, a kinder man than Shinjiro's deserved. He'd do it. He's sure he would.]
whatsamada: (Happy Now)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-03 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[This was so embarrassing. He didn't expect to meet Shinjiro crying and not in a place like this. He figured that at some point in the afterlife, he could see him and tell him that he forgave him. He played this situation out for so long and he was fully prepared for it. Or at least, not until a couple of decades or so. Wiping away the tears, he found himself mumbling to himself as he didn't know what to do.

He given another chance to go and talk to him. But what was there to say? He didn't know! So all he could do was just stand there in hopes that Shinjiro would say something. Anything to make it somewhat easier for the both of them. However, he should have known better as the tears slowly started to get worse as he couldn't stop himself.

But when he finally did say something, Ken's eyes widen. As he momentarily stopped what he was doing, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did Shinjiro just...?]


What are you saying? Of course I want to see you, do you know how much we all miss you?

[Not that he could blame him, not after how he felt he needed to sacrifice his own life for Ken's sake. Not after what happened between the both of him. Glaring at his teammate, he didn't know what he was feeling.

Angry at how Shinjiro was still blaming himself? Frustrated that he wasn't given enough time to properly tell him everything? Overjoyed that he could see him again?

He didn't know but the tears wouldn't stop. Desperately, he tried to wipe them away and make himself feel as confident as he could.]


...Are you....still blaming yourself for what you did?

[Or at least, he was trying to as he found himself stumbling over his words.]
petsthedog: (pic#12817837)

oh boy here we GO cw panic attacks/ptsd etc from here on

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-03 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shinjiro barely hears any of that, frankly. The tone and expression say it for him and his mind goes blank, heart thundering in his ears. No, this isn't how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to tell him to fuck off, about how he's gotten past the mess Shinjiro made of his life and he better not come around to muck it all up again. He's not supposed to do this.

Amada might catch the way Shinjiro's breathing changes, suddenly grows harsher, more measured, like he's seconds from losing his grip on something. He can't be here, actually. He needs to go. He can't --]


...Stupid.

[It's muttered, almost croaked out, teeth grit.]

Don't tell me a couple bullets made you forget the mess I made outta your life.
Edited 2023-08-03 21:15 (UTC)
whatsamada: (Cancer)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-04 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[Before Ken could say anything else, he quickly took a step back. Realizing that Shinjiro was breathing differently, he probably had taken things a little too far. Widening his eyes, he wondered if he should be the one to leave and not say anything else.

As he stood there, his expression changed before giving a low whisper.]


No, I didn't but I learned a lot from what happened.

[...]

And I still regret everything that happened that day.
petsthedog: (pic#12823740)

SORRY i like died for a week+

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-14 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[The space between his ears still feels like static and white noise. Like reality has tilted sideways and is no longer recognizable. He sinks down into one of the chairs in the shop, scrubbing at his face with a hand.

A long silence passes between them, long enough that Ken might wonder if Shinjiro has simply given up on this conversation outright. Then, at length:]


Why?

[Of all the things he regrets, that's the only part of the whole sordid affair he's ever thought he didn't fuck up.]
whatsamada: (King of Misery)

HOW DARE YO-, it's all good!

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-15 01:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[The moment that Ken could see Shinjiro managed to calm himself down, Ken took in a deep breath. Indeed, there were a lot of emotions that were going through both of their minds. They had to take it easy should they ever want to get anywhere.]

Because I should have talked to you. Instead, I let my emotions get the better of me instead of trying to figure things out.

[Not when he saw how Yukari reacted to the death of their leader. Not when Akihiko told him that he could just sit there and rot in his own misery. He just had to keep moving forward no matter what.]

...It's been two years, Aragaki-san, I had a lot of time to think.
petsthedog: (pic#12827148)

<33

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-16 10:36 am (UTC)(link)
[The initial storm has settled some, enough that Shinjiro no longer seems on the verge of hyperventilating on the ground of an ice cream store, but make no mistake, he doesn't look well at all. He's still gone pale enough to give an actual ghost a run for their money, and his expression is pained, twisted in a grimace like he's barely holding his stomach in check.

Idly, he half-wonders if he was right after all, and this right here is his punishment of the damned -- the need to face not Amada's hatred, but something that tastes terrifyingly close to forgiveness. His eyes are burning, but he's not going to be that weak and pathetic; he bites down on the inside of his cheek until he tastes copper and only lets up when he feels confident enough that the next breath won't escape him in a shudder that takes him apart.

In and out. One at a time. Kitsuragi had shown him the rhythm, hadn't he? Try to follow it.]


What was there to talk about? She was dead because of me. Ain't exactly somethin' you can wipe away with a "sorry, my bad".
whatsamada: (November Rain)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-16 01:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[Now that he seemed to have settled down, Ken debated if he should get any closer to him. Fearing that he might make things worse, he decided against it. Instead, he gestured him toward a nearby seat in hopes that it could calm him down some more. Although, he doubts it considering his expression didn't seem to change.

For now, Ken took in another deep breath before looking downward.]


I know but it doesn't mean that you can't learn from it. Even if I didn't forgive you, it still doesn't change the fact that she's gone.

[Again, Akihiko's words kept ringing in his ears. There was no point in being miserable and not do anything. He could let all this hate continue to build up but it'll lead to what? Just absolutely nothing. No matter what he did, he just knew that he couldn't let those feelings get the better of him again.]

All we can do is to keep moving forward. And besides...

[He paused.]

I don't think I can forgive myself if I let you be this way.
Edited 2023-08-16 13:36 (UTC)
petsthedog: (pic#13040916)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-16 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
...Tch.

[He recognizes that Aki-scented bullshit immediately, of course. He'd asked his oldest friend to watch out for him, so it makes sense, though it doesn't make it easier to deal with. Less frustrating, perhaps, from the kid he actually wronged, but -- in a sense it almost hurts more to hear it. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven. This isn't how it was supposed to be.

His nails dig into his palms, angry red half-crescents forming from the pressure.]


The hell do you have to forgive yourself for? You didn't kill me. I made my choices long before you ever got to SEES.
whatsamada: (Run Boy Run)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-16 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[So much for trying to calm him down. Still, he looks down at the seat and then back at him should he ever feel the need to sit down. With a sigh, he really didn't know what else to do. Seeing him alive was already difficult but getting him to talk through his problems was a greater challenge.

Right now, he was struggling to get his emotions in check. He didn't want to yell at him but it was hard. Not when he felt himself on the verge of tears again.]


Because I still made that choice. If I hadn't gotten you into that alleyway, perhaps none of this would have happened...!

[As he continued, he would hear his voice rising as if he wanted to scream. But he knew better. Instead, he'll try his best to keep himself calm for now.]
petsthedog: (pic#15324080)

aaaand time for the suicidal behavior/self-harm cws

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-16 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't be stupid. If it hadn't been that night I would've bit it in a couple months at best.

[He'd denied it in front of Amada, that night, but he always knew what he was doing. The only thing he regrets is that it didn't happen quietly in private with nobody to see him fade away, honestly.]

You think I didn't know Strega was bad news when I got involved with 'em? I didn't care, 'cause I wasn't safe to be around, and I needed a solution. I was already prepared for it to end on my own terms, but you had the right to do it first if you needed to. S'why I didn't just tell you.
whatsamada: (Dangerous)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-17 01:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I know that but it doesn't make it right. I still shouldn't have cut your life short.

[His voice was starting to get louder but again, he was trying to keep himself steady. Shaking his head, he really didn't know what to do. Even after thinking about how he could confront Shinjiro after two years, this was not what he was expecting...

But then again, was he ever expecting to talk to the dead this way?]


Which is why I wanted to thank you and hopefully we can move on from this.
petsthedog: (pic#12824133)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-17 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
You ain't listening. Everything that happened that night was because of my choices. Even that fucker showin' up...he was only after you guys because I told him SEES was tryin' to end the Dark Hour. It was the price he asked for the drugs the last time we made a deal--knowin' what the new Persona Users around were up to.

[He's not proud of it. It'd felt like a betrayal even then, but he hadn't counted on Strega being quite so deranged as to go out of their way try to protect the Dark Hour's existence by any means necessary. He was already a shitty person, what had been one more stain on his soul, he'd thought.]

Savin' your life was the only halfway decent thing I ever accomplished with mine. I meant what I said when I died--things ended up the way they should. Better than I deserved, probably. I don't regret it. You shouldn't either.
whatsamada: (Happy Now)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-17 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[Was this how it felt whenever Akihiko tried to convince him of something. While he couldn't deny that it was Shinjiro's choice to safe it, it doesn't erase that it was still Ken who lead him to that spot. However, he knew when to back down.

Instead, all he could do was shake his head as it seemed they were both too stubborn to get anywhere. What a dilemma he was in. To think that the choice he made two years ago about what happened to their leader would come back and bite him.]


...But it won't stop me from trying to start over. I think it's the least I can do while I'm here.
Edited 2023-08-17 21:47 (UTC)
petsthedog: (pic#15324101)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-17 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shinjiro stares at him a long, tense moment...then sighs. He feels exhausted by this conversation, by the situation, everything. The weight of even being alive after everything has worn on him, but it feels especially heavy right now.]

...If you still want me around, I'll be there.

[Amada talks as though he's the one who owes Shinjiro something, and it feels tight and painful in his chest. As though those scales could ever be tilted in his direction. As though he could ever have balanced them in the first place with his death alone.

The anger had been kinder, in a way. He'd had something to motivate himself with, the resolve to get himself out of the picture as quickly and quietly as he could. Without it, he has only the exhaustion.]


That's the least I owe you. But don't...[He grits his teeth, closing his eyes a moment.]

This is my last stop, you realize that, right? Time's already gone on without me, and that's how it's gotta be.
whatsamada: (The Red)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-17 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[Was this how it was going to play out? Was this going to the middle group they were going to settle on? It seems so that his teammate seemed to have finally calmed down. Giving a sigh of relief, the emotional build up disappeared as he felt a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.

For now, he'll just deal with what they have for now. As Shinjiro continued, he momentarily looked down. It was a lot to take in. He was right, there was no guarantee life would allow him to live back home. Time had moved on without him for the past two years.

Why would this be any different?]


...All the more reason why we need to make most of what we got, right? You don't know when the day might come where one of us might disappear from this world.

[That said, he gave his hand out to him. He knew that it wasn't the most appropriate thing to do but what else could he say? Hopefully this will get the message across.]
petsthedog: (pic#12824108)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-17 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[Shinjiro doesn't take his hand. It's too much, too soon, and he can't. He shakes his head.]

I'll do whatever I can to help get you back to Iwatodai. But this ain't some second chance for me or shit like that. S'just an extension.

[Miles to go yet before he can sleep. He can only hope there aren't too many.]
Edited 2023-08-17 22:47 (UTC)
whatsamada: (America's Suitehearts)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-18 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[He should have figured. As he took his hand back, all he could do was smile softly to himself. Now there was the Shinjiro that he knew. At least this wsa a good start for now.]

All right, if you say so. Now tell me, what should I be prepared for in this world?
petsthedog: (pic#13040504)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-25 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
[The smile aches, too. He was never ready for Amada to be happy to see him. He never wanted to be someone who would be missed.]

...Boredom, mostly. And the fact that someone's probably watchin' us, considering the creepy party the first month and the shit that's a little too uncomfortably personal to be a coincidence.
whatsamada: (Rainbow in the Dark)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-25 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Wait, what do you mean someone's watching us?

[Being in a strange and mysterious city was one thing but it was another to know that they would always be monitored. As he gave a look to his older teammate, he couldn't help but glance upward.]
petsthedog: (pic#12716965)

[personal profile] petsthedog 2023-08-26 10:31 am (UTC)(link)
What I said. First month after we got off the train, this creepy block party cropped up, welcome to the city banner and everything. Had food, drinks, even a god damn bouncy house.

[He fuckt off so fast tbh.]

Plus one time this bank opened up? And the vaults had our shit in it. Private shit.
whatsamada: (Tell Me How)

[personal profile] whatsamada 2023-08-26 02:21 pm (UTC)(link)
But...why? What's the reasoning behind that?

[Why would someone want to put their random stuff in a bank anyway?]

I know there might be weapons or other valuables that she could use but what's the point when there's barely anything here?

[And yet, based on his tone, he was fully expecting Shinjiro to say that there was something more.]
Edited 2023-08-26 14:21 (UTC)

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wrap or continue onto Dinner?

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