[ It's not an answer, not at all – but it still feels like a fatal blow. ]
Fuck.
[ The curse sounds like it's been punched out of him.
It's like reopening half-healed wounds, but he does so readily. Happily, even. And he can't help that his immediate reaction is to step toward her, to reach out a hand.
And it feels like only moments have passed since Knowhere, when he stood breathing in fire-heated air and ash, feeling that crushing weight of failure. He's spent so much of his time over the intervening years returning to that memory, prodding at the guilt over and over and over so he could drown himself in it. And it's effortless to do it again, in the here and now. ]
no subject
Fuck.
[ The curse sounds like it's been punched out of him.
It's like reopening half-healed wounds, but he does so readily. Happily, even. And he can't help that his immediate reaction is to step toward her, to reach out a hand.
And it feels like only moments have passed since Knowhere, when he stood breathing in fire-heated air and ash, feeling that crushing weight of failure. He's spent so much of his time over the intervening years returning to that memory, prodding at the guilt over and over and over so he could drown himself in it. And it's effortless to do it again, in the here and now. ]
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I tried—