[ He remembers the look in Katsuragi's face the day he took the puppet in. He remembers the discussion him and Nagamasa had. 'I can only deal with you in this fashion. Do not hold this against me,' he had said, looking apologetic, but the Kabukimono hadn't understood it at the time, why he looked that way. He didn't understand why he always looked that way, when the inspector looked in his direction.
He remembers the smile on Niwa's face when the puppet expressed interest in sword smithing. He remembers putting his all into learning, and the surprise in Niwa's face when he showed him the first sword he made. He remembers that he was always treated kindly, when the other apprentices were treated strictly. He thought it weird, that he was not treated the same.
He remembers everyone's smiles, their eyes lit up in joy, every time he helped them. He remembers their concern and their worry for him, and how warm that made him feel.
Why was it that he felt like he never belonged? He doesn't remember that anymore, because he's lived for so long, and he understands humans much better now. Kaveh is right—it wasn't because he was a puppet. It was because they loved him.
And, for the first time in centuries—for the first time since the tears that caused him to be abandoned by his mother—he cries. He sinks to his knees, bending over as sobs wrack his body, as the full gravity of his own actions sink in—his sins suddenly feel impossibly heavy, and they crush him under the weight of it all. They had never betrayed him. Not once. But he— but he—!! ]
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He remembers the smile on Niwa's face when the puppet expressed interest in sword smithing. He remembers putting his all into learning, and the surprise in Niwa's face when he showed him the first sword he made. He remembers that he was always treated kindly, when the other apprentices were treated strictly. He thought it weird, that he was not treated the same.
He remembers everyone's smiles, their eyes lit up in joy, every time he helped them. He remembers their concern and their worry for him, and how warm that made him feel.
Why was it that he felt like he never belonged? He doesn't remember that anymore, because he's lived for so long, and he understands humans much better now. Kaveh is right—it wasn't because he was a puppet. It was because they loved him.
And, for the first time in centuries—for the first time since the tears that caused him to be abandoned by his mother—he cries. He sinks to his knees, bending over as sobs wrack his body, as the full gravity of his own actions sink in—his sins suddenly feel impossibly heavy, and they crush him under the weight of it all. They had never betrayed him. Not once. But he— but he—!! ]
I'm sorry, Niwa, I'm sorry...!