featheradrift: (kabukimono: my heart)
Wanderer ([personal profile] featheradrift) wrote in [community profile] citylogs 2023-12-11 06:42 am (UTC)

[ What had the god wished for, when creating this puppet? What had Ei wished for? He was a prototype for the Raiden Shogun, but, perhaps he would have still had a purpose had he not shed tears in his sleep. Perhaps he would have worked together with the Raiden Shogun—his sister—in ruling Inazuma in Ei's stead. Perhaps he could have had his mother's approval. Perhaps.

Perhaps.

But he can never know what he was really made for, other than the fact that he is capable of accepting a Gnosis, and therefore that must have had something to do with his purpose.

(It is a function that not even the Raiden Shogun has, for Ei eventually decided it was a function not needed, and sent the Gnosis to Yae Miko instead.)

What did the Wanderer wish for, now? Why did he want so desperately to become human? To have a heart, just like humanity? He answers truthfully, because he's so tired right now.
]

I... I wanted... everyone seemed to understand what they had to do. Everyone seemed to have a purpose at the forge, but I was... the odd one out. They were all so kind to me, but it felt like there was something in between us, because I wasn't human. Because I was different.

I wanted to belong. I wanted to be a part of them. I didn't want Nagamasa and Katsuragi to keep looking at me so warily, because they knew who my mother was. I wanted Niwa to treat me like a proper swordsmith apprentice instead of treating my curiosity as a whim from the strange Kabukimono. I wanted...

[ He trails off, trembling. He wanted so much, so badly. ]

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