[ kaveh says - good. there isn't another word for it. an entire darshan can spend day and night mulling over the intricacies of the written and spoken word, and there wouldn't be another word like it. good, in all of its forms - that it's okay, that heine's okay. that it isn't okay, that heine is not okay - that heine knows that he is not okay, that he is trying, that kaveh can feel it. in heine's resolve, in the grip of heine's hands, in the way his throat is raw for it. kaveh can tell, that heine has come far. so very far. further than whatever experimentations were meant to make him be - heine has, in fact, remade himself.
kaveh closes his eyes. the tracks of tears remain. the back of his eyelids burn. einstürzen. kaveh will remember that name.
still: ] Then, as you are adjusting to your new reality, let me. Let me care. Just until you wholly can allow yourself to be cared for. If you cannot let yourself, then let me.
[ the way kaveh's hand rakes through heine's hair is full of fierce, unsaid affection. finally, kaveh pulls away. he pulls heine with him. both his hands cup heine's cheeks, scarred fingers holding the contours of heine's jaw, feeling for the warmth there, the weight of his existence. ]
Really. Heine, you have come far. [ kaveh says, earnest. ] I wouldn't have heard you say this when we had first met. Heine, I am proud.
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[ kaveh says - good. there isn't another word for it. an entire darshan can spend day and night mulling over the intricacies of the written and spoken word, and there wouldn't be another word like it. good, in all of its forms - that it's okay, that heine's okay. that it isn't okay, that heine is not okay - that heine knows that he is not okay, that he is trying, that kaveh can feel it. in heine's resolve, in the grip of heine's hands, in the way his throat is raw for it. kaveh can tell, that heine has come far. so very far. further than whatever experimentations were meant to make him be - heine has, in fact, remade himself.
kaveh closes his eyes. the tracks of tears remain. the back of his eyelids burn. einstürzen. kaveh will remember that name.
still: ] Then, as you are adjusting to your new reality, let me. Let me care. Just until you wholly can allow yourself to be cared for. If you cannot let yourself, then let me.
[ the way kaveh's hand rakes through heine's hair is full of fierce, unsaid affection. finally, kaveh pulls away. he pulls heine with him. both his hands cup heine's cheeks, scarred fingers holding the contours of heine's jaw, feeling for the warmth there, the weight of his existence. ]
Really. Heine, you have come far. [ kaveh says, earnest. ] I wouldn't have heard you say this when we had first met. Heine, I am proud.