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[The breathe in between his teeth is small, but sharp. Of course she didn't want to hurt him. Of course he didn't really want to hurt her. But that's the unavoidable reality that occurred. That's the objective truth. Alhaitham takes every piece of such a thing and puts it to light to review. And realizes it's the truth that Tsuruno is important to him, too, and it would have been a sort of grief had he broken her with his own hands.

He cuts her off:] You're not responsible for my decisions. I did what I wanted to. I was aware of the risk. Don't make something yours that isn't.

Because we brought it up and it's not just you, there are so many people who got it worse and you were just--

[ She'd make the same argument, if their positions were reversed. She acknowledges that. He wouldn't be blaming himself, he'd be stating the circumstances factually and she'd say she did what she did because she wanted to, but... ]

I'm... supposed to be the one who protects happiness, but I...

[ He'd stared at her, seeing her but in a way she never wanted to be viewed, and he had charged and she had retaliated and it's the same thing over again, just different notes, she's staring at a lifeless body, people are crying, she should have done something differently, she should have gotten there faster, she should have tried to persuade her, and it's three different situations and if she'd only just-- ]

I was... s-so scared... [ And the words slip out before Tsuruno can stop them, along with the tears she's swallowed back for months now, sliding unrepentantly down her face. Her voice cracks on a sob. ]

I-I didn't want to lose anyone else!!

[ kaveh returns.

of course, kaveh thinks, he would return to this. the rhythmic click of kaveh's heels quicken into an urgent staccato. his device is dropped next to him; he drops to his knees. it's instinct to pull tsuruno into his arms. it's instinct to turn the red of his gaze onto alhaitham, who is still sitting there as if he isn't wrapped to hell and back, the narrowed edge of them sharpened past the edge of something sane: ]

What did you say to her? [ tsuruno is crying. tsuruno is crying, wracking sobs that shake the narrow frame of her body. her friend crumpled before her, a garden of whispered hearts, and tsuruno hadn't cried. she refused to let herself cry- ] Alhaitham, what did you say to her! [ it comes out as accusation. tow men in another time and space, a piercing blow, i regretted you, ] I should have known - I turn my back for a minute, a minute, and you couldn't keep your observations to yourself. Not everyone wants themselves taken apart and their fundamental components bared!

[Tsuruno cries.

It is not, in fact, the unexpected response in a situation like this. He hadn't meant for her to, but when as the adrenaline left her system why would she not cry? She was the one in her right mind. She was the one who tensed when he awoke, afraid for even a fraction that he would bruise her again.

That isn't the part that he gets caught one.

It's that, when you live so much of your life in a factor of one or two, you forget. You forget you would be missed. That absence is known to others besides yourself. Tsuruno was afraid she'd lost him. That he would be the latest in a line of loss.

His hand lifts. The gesture is aborted at the escalating tone of Kaveh, punctuated by his clicking heels and the clatter of his phone as he dives in to take Tsuruno into his own arms instead. Alhaitham looks.

The only response he offers is silence.]

[ There's a hiccup of surprise when Kaveh suddenly reappears and she's pulled back into his arms and it feels more furious than protective or concerned, obviously not directed at her, and this is a terrible time to be crying.

Tsuruno does, diligently, to calm the spasming enough, to suck in enough air to speak, to shake her head when she still can't talk at first, but eventually, each word more or less punched out-- ]

Stop, no, he--he didn't! He said I wasn't responsible, that he made his choices, I just--said I'd been scared and it hit me suddenly, I'm sorry, don't be mad at him!

[ This is said in between her tears, but she's Trying. ]

[ alhaitham sits there. alhaitham says nothing. silence, kaveh thinks, bitterly, is the well of grief. there is silence between everything alhaitham says that bleeds into what he does, meaning between lines of text where a singular man exists in a world only he understands. there are things kaveh wants to say to that. there are words he wants to cast into the silence. there's something in him that wants to burn.

but what comes out isn't - it couldn't. because tsuruno is still crying, and she is- ]

[ the guilt and the shame are what wells from the well. ]

Oh, Tsuruno. [ his words are a whisper. the fight bleeds from kaveh. it bleeds much in the way of blood through layers of a dark tablecloth, bruising along the gentle curve of a back. tsuruno's face is marred with tears. she is marred with tears, and desperately defending the man sitting across from kaveh despite herself, and kaveh thinks - he's made a mistake. he's put himself before tsuruno. alhaitham hadn't said anything at all.

the look kaveh gives alhaitham is stricken. the apology doesn't - come, it never does. kaveh's face turns down upon itself as he pulls tsuruno into his arms for a fierce hug, his hands skirting her back, careful of her bruises - oh archons, her bruises - imbuing within its warmth every apology that has yet to be said. ] Tsuruno, I'm sorry. [ kaveh says, ] I'm so sorry. I'm not - I'm not mad anymore. I'm so sorry. It must've been frightening, to hurt someone you care about, to have been hurt by someone you care about - I'm sorry, Tsuruno.

[ kaveh's head bows. he kisses the top of tsuruno's head. the guilt, the shame, the penance. ] Alhaitham is alright. You're alright.

[Kaveh's anger diffuses as quickly as it came. And Alhaitham finds he still doesn't have words for him. Why should he? Why does Kaveh warrant an explanation? There had been his hand on a cheek. There had been the recoil, there had been Alhaitham twisted into the bitterness because that's the only part of him Kaveh is willing to see. It's the only part he'll take anymore, the sharper edge of the knife.

Kaveh soothes Tsuruno with a more natural touch than Alhaitham has. Alhaitham's hand drops. He turns his chin away, eyes closed as he carefully loops his headphones back over his hair.]

[ She's trembling hard, face buried in Kaveh's chest once she permits herself to relax, to let the adrenaline loss do whatever it wants to do at this point. She's fought it back long enough, but why had he been so furious at Alhaitham only a few seconds ago when he'd been so worried about him when he'd seen Tsuruno carrying his unconscious body to the best of her ability? What happened?

Kaveh murmurs four apologies, all to her, and she doesn't think she deserves any of them. He hadn't been angry at her. He hadn't made her cry. Neither of them had. ]

I'm not the one... you yelled at...

[ She'll point that out, muffled, and she does lift her head to look between the two of them with glossy, swollen eyes, looking more exhausted than she has in a while. ]

[ tsuruno's eyes are swollen. they are red and bruisy, and they look ghastly on the pale of her skin. tsuruno ought not look like this. never her. what kaveh has always associated with tsuruno is the bright edge of a well-honed sunbeam, a wayward starburst that floods the land in light. that is what she aspires to be. that is what she has already become. it follows, kaveh thinks, with sinking rue, that tsuruno isn't content with her own suffering. she is gentle. and she cares about alhaitham.

as does kaveh, for what it's worth, now.

in the stillness, kaveh is quiet. silence could have been the chosen answer; it should have been. but kaveh's silence comes in the form of a flinch; kaveh's silence has always been a bladed edge. the hand on his cheek had been like condemnation. what is to say to this, kaveh thinks. tsuruno is in distress. there is nothing more that she she needs to see - not that part of them, not that part of kaveh. but kaveh can become anything that anyone needs. he has to be. he has no worth otherwise.

so kaveh takes a deep breath in. he forces his shoulders to relax, feels for each inch of him as the tension is stripped and discarded, as it is cast away. the sea takes it. the sea always does. ]

I know, I know. [ kaveh says, soft as dust. ] I've wronged him, and I've wronged you.

You didn't wrong me.

[ Whether he's wronged Alhaitham, and she does believe that it was undeserved, that accusation, that's for Alhaitham to decide for himself, but Tsuruno hasn't been wronged at all. Attacked, yes. Maybe almost killed. But nothing that's been said directly to her has been wrong.

Even the things she hadn't wanted to admit, and she blinks back the tears that still burn where they rest unshed, exhaling carefully. A deep breath of her own. She looks at Alhaitham now, because someone has to. ]

... Sorry.

[ And she says it to him instead, just as soft as Kaveh. ]

I gave him the wrong idea.

I'm glad... I didn't hurt you any more than this.

[ kaveh looks. he looks at tsuruno. he looks at the way she turns her head, to alhaitham. kaveh's heart aches at it. someone has to look at alhaitham. it wasn't kaveh, and it won't be kaveh. slowly, kaveh closes his eyes. he breathes in, long and deep. he turns his head. he opens them.

the grief and the sorrow and the fury.

there is nothing for kaveh to say. tsuruno is glad that she didn't hurt alhaitham any more than this. kaveh is also glad - that alhaitham hadn't been more hurt. that tsuruno hadn't been more hurt. neither thing is worth mentioning, not from kaveh's mouth. ]

No, Tsuruno. [It comes out like still water, muted. Alhaitham's lips pinch in bitterness before he breathes it out.

He tilts his head. The slow opening of his eyes reveals stark irises.] It wasn't anything you did.

[He isn't looking at Tsuruno. He looks from the side of his face to the side of Kaveh's. Kaveh, who won't face him. Kaveh, who always looks away from what's between them because he can't face anything but the resentment he feels for the both of them.]

It's just what Kaveh always expects from me.

[ Oh. So it wasn't her imagination. There's something far more than just terse between them, in a manner that hadn't existed the last time she'd spent time in their company. A bitterness that Alhaitham hadn't shown when they'd talked in the greenhouse. A strain to Kaveh.

She doesn't know why. She thinks, even if she asked, they wouldn't deem it necessary to tell her.

But if it's gotten to the point where Alhaitham is no longer keeping his silence, not in front of her, that's even more concerning, and Tsuruno looks carefully between the two of them, at a loss for words. She's a mood-maker, but it's difficult to do that when she's currently a bit of a wreck and also she doesn't know the full situation here. ]

... Um, [ is what she eventually says instead. ]

If... this is something you two should talk out, I can go...

No. [ the one syllable truncates the rest of tsuruno's words. kaveh would've winced at it, if he had the mind to do so. but the fury - that's what kaveh has always been made of. he lifts his eyes. he looks at alhaitham. ] There's nothing more to say. He had his chance.

[ kaveh squeezes tsuruno's shoulder. it's meant to be reassuring, but nothing about kaveh is right now. nothing about this is right now. but tsuruno is injured, and alhaitham is injured, and kaveh's heart is stuck in his throat like a tumor or a sore. he gives tsuruno one, last hug, his hand sliding through the soft brown canvas of her hair. he finally lets her go. ]

Sorry, Tsuruno. I called one of my friends. His name is Tighnari. He is no doctor, but he is on his way, and he knows how to treat headwounds and bruises. He won't be able to make it through the haunted house in time; we need to sit outside.

[ finally, kaveh lifts his head. he addresses alhaitham: ]

Alhaitham, can you walk? Do not [ kaveh grits his teeth, ] make this into a fight. Nod or shake your head as appropriate if you must.

[He had his chance. It was under the lamplight between stacks of papers and little sleep and it had been them, only them, when Alhaitham had dug into the core of Kaveh and held it up to the light.

Kaveh cannot be claimed, or owned, or stopped. Alhaitham had once believed himself to be the exception. He believed that he could put his hands to Kaveh's heart and hold its burning between them before Kaveh turned himself in the ashes for the sake of a world that couldn't possible love him enough.

He'd been wrong.

Alhaitham breathes deep. He braces one hand to the floor and slowly, slowly, shifts to his feet. The first step wavers. The second is unsteady. But Alhaitham is a man made of his own measure, and he will not be made into something he doesn't want.

So he walks. He walks on his own for the exit. It's the only thing that can be truly relied on, oneself.]

[ There's the sound of something like alarm sirens going off in her head, but it seems they're going to have to make it out of here first, get looked at by someone she doesn't know (which is, in fact, better than Daan, who would absolutely be upset to hear about this) and these two will continue to be abrasive at each other.

But she gently pulls herself away from Kaveh, moving to her own feet and taking a few steps to stick close to Alhaitham's side. He doesn't have to lean on her, but she's there if he needs it, because she can at least walk steadily. They're just bruises, in the end.

She's quiet now, finally. ]

[ the first step wavers. the second step is unsteady. alhaitham makes his way to the door. the math calculates itself: the force of alhaitham's steps, the height of the steps outside, the weight of his mass, the concussive force of a fall. there is something disconcerting about seeing alhaitham, who is always light on his feet and always sure of his step, to see him sway and falter. like a missing piece of a lilted fulcrum. kaveh is close behind. tsuruno has placed herself for alhaitham to lean on. kaveh steps past him to open the door of the steps, and to descend first. kaveh puts himself in the position to catch him.

the walk outside is brisk. kaveh is thinking. the compulsion needs time to work. it wears down on the individual. time is of the essence, but so is distance. there is no correlation between the strength of the compulsion and the distance across town, but there is a correlation between speed of entry and distance. the further they are, the longer it will take for them to get back into the haunted house, and kaveh knows the path well. he takes them away from the haunted house proper, until a small park bench comes to view beneath the awning of a poplar tree. there, he gestures for both of them to sit.

tsuruno's exhaustion is apparent. kaveh's heart hurts for it. he can't stay, he realises. ]

Listen to me. [ kaveh says, when they're there. ] I'm going to go get Tighnari; he won't know where you are, and I want this distance between here and the haunted house to buy the two of you time should the compulsion hit again.

[ from his bag, kaveh takes out a crowbar. he threads the crowbar between the slats of the back of the metal bench, and then guides tsuruno's hand to hold onto one end of it. kaveh's hands don't falter when he reaches for alhaitham's to do the same. ]

Hold onto this bar. I need the two of you to keep each other here. I'll bring Tighnari and supplies.

[ between them, kaveh gives one last look. two bottles of water, slipped between them. then, he rises. ]

Please stay safe. Call if you need anything.

[ - and kaveh goes. he runs. his heels disappear into the darkness. ]

[The whole walk is tense and silent. Alhaitham has to put all of his focus on his own steps and his own balance. That Kaveh hovers to the front is noticed, categorized, and filed away. A reminder not to falter to him, or to Tsuruno at his side.

There is a bench. There is a crowbar, and Alhaitham doesn't have quite enough in him now to verbalize that this is a questionable choice given his apparent bouts of aggression. Kaveh's hands reach for his.

Alhaitham snatches them away before he can touch them. The pause is tense, defensive, and then Alhaitham grips the crowbar himself without any assistance. He doesn't say anything as Kaveh walks away. He doesn't promise anything.

It's only when Kaveh's footsteps disappear that he lets out a low, shaken exhale.]

[ There's a second where she's barely able to suppress a flinch when Kaveh guides her hand to the crowbar, likely only saved from it being revealed by Alhaitham yanking away from Kaveh's grasp. It's too familiar to the mop, the feeling of clutching it for dear life, realizing she's going to have to use it to fight.

She understands why he's doing it, which is why she doesn't move her hand away, but the thought makes uneasiness swirl within her chest. And she breathes out, less shakily, once Kaveh runs off.

Quietly, tentatively-- ]

Al...?

[ There are a lot of questions in his name, but the concern is primary. ]

[It's the slow release of tension in his shoulders, first. The agitation is carefully packed in, bit by bit, and all that's left is the sheer exhaustion of everything. Of the past days, weeks, months, years of it all.

It takes a moment before he looks sidelong at Tsuruno.] Yes?

... Are you...

[ No, that's not really the question, is it? She knows the answer to it, anyway. ]

Something... happened, it feels like. Between you two.

[Alhaitham is still. He gaze slips down to his hands instead.] Only the same thing that always does.

[Like this is rote. Like it's expected. Alhaitham will push and push until Kaveh sets aflame the fragile bridge between them because he can't bear to let anything grow between them. They're fail to reach synthesis. They fall apart. Is this not just a constant repetition of the fight that tore them apart?]

I just need some time. [Preferably time where he doesn't have to look at Kaveh. He would normally be the one to leave but it's hard to stagger to his apartment with a bleeding head wound.]

If this is the same thing that always happens, then maybe you guys need to deal with it differently.

[ How, she doesn't know. But if this is how it goes, with them being brittle at each other, snapping off those fragile edges, retreating to recover, going back to it...

Then nothing would ever change. Until one of them loses patience and then it's a change for the worst.

Tsuruno pauses, adjusting her posture; she'd rather not lean back completely against the bench. ]

I know you probably want to deal with things... with this, on your own. But I do want you to know...

I'm here, okay? Whether you need me or not.

[Alhaitham snorts.] It must look quite simple to you, but Kaveh makes a complication out of everything.

[And maybe Alhaitham is equally to blame for refusing to let go. For always making the decision to chase Kaveh instead of accepting the loss of him.]

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