[ kaveh's breath catches. it catches itself in its hold. it strangles in on itself. cyno had been there, steeped with guilt. midnight had been there, bright with conviction. and kaveh - he had leaned down, and he had cried.
kaveh opens his mouth. he can't look at alhaitham, because he is not looking at alhaitham. when he looks, alhaitham is there, obscene in his youth, a knife at his throat and whispered words on his tongue. when he looks, alhaitham is there, neck indented by fingers long and callused, strangled into a hold. when he looks, alhaitham is there, laying in the grass, his body motionless.
alhaitham, alhaitham, alhaitham.
kaveh says, with all the grief and the sorrow like a washing tide: ]
It didn't please me to choose between bitter and bitter.
[ because it had always been so: that kaveh envied those who could. because kaveh wanted a choice, a real choice. a choice that wasn't between bad or worse, or bitter and bitter. a choice that could grow with him. a choice that could flourish. a choice that wasn't between the death of his dream or the death of his livelihood. a choice that wasn't between the death of his father or the death of his mother. a choice that wasn't between the death of alhaitham and -
a mistake.
in a voice as small as the receding tide: ]
Don't lie to me, Alhaitham. You know better. Or I thought you did.
no subject
kaveh opens his mouth. he can't look at alhaitham, because he is not looking at alhaitham. when he looks, alhaitham is there, obscene in his youth, a knife at his throat and whispered words on his tongue. when he looks, alhaitham is there, neck indented by fingers long and callused, strangled into a hold. when he looks, alhaitham is there, laying in the grass, his body motionless.
alhaitham, alhaitham, alhaitham.
kaveh says, with all the grief and the sorrow like a washing tide: ]
It didn't please me to choose between bitter and bitter.
[ because it had always been so: that kaveh envied those who could. because kaveh wanted a choice, a real choice. a choice that wasn't between bad or worse, or bitter and bitter. a choice that could grow with him. a choice that could flourish. a choice that wasn't between the death of his dream or the death of his livelihood. a choice that wasn't between the death of his father or the death of his mother. a choice that wasn't between the death of alhaitham and -
a mistake.
in a voice as small as the receding tide: ]
Don't lie to me, Alhaitham. You know better. Or I thought you did.