[ open ] kaveh's permanent catch-all

[fussiest]

WHO: kaveh (fussiest) & y'all!
WHAT: this is a perpetual catch-all for kaveh because i'm too lazy to make a new one every month. this is for closed starters, tag-ins, visits to kaveh's workshop and the like! be wild! be bold! be free!
WHERE: all around the city, and especially at kaveh's workshop, the pairidaeza architectural design studio in district 1
WHEN: everywhere! everywhen! all at once!
WARNINGS: bickering, probably - everything else will be warned for on a thread-by-thread basis

Comments

[fussiest]

[ it tickles him a little, kaveh thinks, to be called young by don. there's something in him that can almost believe it. he grins. ]

Oh, no. I'm Kshahrewar; we are the study of architecture, engineering and technology. Our mascot is that of the lion. Haravatats study language, semiotics and the very study of knowledge itself. Their mascot is the bull. You know a Haravatat, actually - you've met Alhaitham. And he is very much the mascot of his Darshan - that is, his area of study.

You'd make a fine Kshahrewar, I think. [ teasingly: ] Shall I adopt you as my junior?

[icanfixer]

That is dependant on if I am requiered to say what thee just did.

[ he Said It and she can already feel the word too full for her mouth. but she grins in kind, tickled to be someone's squire rather than the other way around, and gives a thoughtful hum. ]

I am not too knowledgeable on any of the subject thou art, nor half as passionate, but I'm happy that thee think I should make a fine one regardless. It is the battlefield or not at all for one such as myself!

[ her hobbies aside, anyway, more alike to his own. ]

[fussiest]

[ the battlefield, don says, with the exuberant grin of a young woman speaking of something else - like a hope, like an aspiration. kaveh looks. ]

Oh? [ kaveh says, ] But you seem plenty happy here. If you had a choice, would you still choose the battlefield over working at a bookstore?

[icanfixer]

[ ...

it's a pause, and a little uncomfortable in truth; the don before may not have hesitated, but this one certainly does. ]

I have become used to this, [ in general, the ease of day to day, ] but I cannot deny that I miss, somewhat, that which I came from -- I have spent far more of my life fighting, in one way or another.

[ be it by fist or some other way. it's something her body more than anything else is used to, then; evident in the way don is always keeping an eye alert, quick glances and an ear open for sounds. she sets her notebook on a shelf and writes on idly. ]

It is hard to say. There is much to like about my current position, just as there was much to like about my prior -- though I know many would disagree that there is any merit in the violence necessary to carry out my duties.

[fussiest]

[ kaveh thinks, if this were him, what would he do? if this were a world where nothing needed to be built, if the concept of architecture hadn't been invented, if there were no materials to build with and the barrenness of the land stretched to all of eternity - would kaveh adapt to another craft and enjoy it? perhaps. but there would be a part of kaveh who would invent architecture from nothing. that's what it means to love something.

in a way, he thinks, he understands it. that primordial love. ]

I see. While merit is subjective, I think your passion for it is objective. The fact that it was and still is a part of you. We could debate the minutiae forever, but there's something fundamental about liking something that can't be explained. If I were in a world where architecture did not exist, I would invent the concept of it, just to feel whole again.

[ kaveh considers this. ] If given the chance, between going to another world, staying here, or going home, you would go home, then? If an end to this world ever came to pass.

[icanfixer]

I must go home.

[ reticent, without ire or determination; simple fact. there is no matter of the possibility or want of it, no chance to be had -- simply that. ]

I cannot explain why outside of it is due to mine employment there, but it is the same for Sinclair and any other who may follow us.

[ ... kaveh's really pulling out the hard questions today. ]

[fussiest]

[ 'must', don says. not 'want', not 'like'. 'must'. kaveh looks. ]

... is it Angela?

[ she, after all, killed netzach. and netzach would also choose to go back. ]

[icanfixer]

Nay, she is no one to me there -- I am part of the Limbus Company, if thee should recall... recruited by the Red Gaze -- by Sir Vergilius himself for the procuration of particulars left behind after a Wing's falling. [ that's good enough. ] We are bound by contract to do so.

[ ... yeah, that's good enough. ]

I cannot break it.

[ not must, just cannot ]

[fussiest]

[ there's something else here, kaveh thinks. there always is. a contract by magical means, a compulsion, a threat, a need. but it's the wording that catches kaveh between the act and the motion. of course it would. after all, kaveh lives with the foremost haravatat scholar of his generation. contract, don says. a contract is a stipulation of terms, a legalised exchange. for what don is putting in, don will get something out of it.

and whatever that is is enough for her choose, with certainty, what she cannot. ]

No. [ kaveh says, after a moment. a beat. his tone warms: ] I was wrong. Perhaps you've a Haravatat in you after all.

[icanfixer]

It is the easier to say, but I cannot claim to be interested in what Ser Alhaitham learns either.

[ she eases though, unaware of the tension she'd been holding; the lines of her writing grow smooth again. ]

It has crossed my mind, for I rather like dressing up and having my pick of what to eat, and I shall miss those I have met... but it is only an idle thought. I should think any unbound would like to stay, though. It is a far better life than what one can find where they have been born, even if it is a little... how does one put it. A little unnerving at times.

[fussiest]

Oh? There are even things that unnerve you? The bravest of us all.

[ says kaveh, as he observes the lines of don's writing. ] Tell me this at least: have your thoughts on justice changed since coming here?

[icanfixer]

[ bravest of them all... when she's scared of such human things, of having human things? good that she can still be relied on, be trusted. fear does not become a hero, and she brushes it off simply: ]

It makes one restless, is all. [ nice way to put it,

though the second question stops her hand for only a moment, the slant continuing as she speaks. ] Nay, not particularly. It has grown, perhaps, more selfish... but it has not changed, nor have my preferred methods in dealing with injustice changed. True evil is a conscious act, but one without choice is a victim -- that is simple fact. It is a matter of principle.

[fussiest]

[ restless, don says, not bravery. kaveh looks. he smiles. ]

I remember. [ because he remembers, the story of that don once told. the story between choice and what was made to choose. kaveh has always thought that even inaction is a sin. but don, who charges forward, who respects autonomy - that's don, kaveh thinks. ]

But good. I think everyone ought to hold something so strongly within themselves that they would be changed if it were taken away from them. Everyone must have something that causes them to burn. But I think - we should allow ourselves to change, and we should allow that thing within us to change as well. If we don't, how can we become the best versions of ourselves? That's what I've always thought.

[icanfixer]

Something such as justice should not be changed too much 'lest it lose all meaning, nor should it soften for the same reason.

[ to what ends can someone justify something, after all? kromer can justify herself all she'd like, and it's still wrong -- not that don doesn't understand, a little, as someone who values experiences herself, and while the method is similar to herself as well... if don lingers too long on similarities between herself and that woman she grows cold, and so she puts a stopper on it.

after all, don wouldn't persecute someone for a choice that hurts no one else. ]

There is truth in thy words, however. I do not know what the best version of myself may be, but I hope that she is happy as well -- there is no point in excelling if it causes one to suffer in the same breath. [ ... ] But if it is any consolation, I have... come to understand, truly, why others may be so angered when I seem thoughtless in regards to my own life and safety.

[ it took. a while. but she's got it, after repetition from more than strangers, more than one source. that's a new version of herself. a little closer to best. ]

[fussiest]

[ kaveh's smile softens. of course it does. something as justice should not be changed too much, lest it loses all meaning, nor should it soften for the same reason - but don is more than just justice-made-form. she is a young lady who loves art, who creates with her hands and lends light to the world beyond. she is a terror of truly awful ideas and the brilliant strike of something flint and paper. don is more than just what she has carved from the world.

any consolation, huh. ]

It's more consolation than you would suppose, Don. [ kaveh says, quietly, with the soft lines of his smile like so. ] It gladdens my heart to hear it. I still remember how we first met, you know. I never told you, but I went back to Alhaitham and I yelled at him for an hour because I was so angry at you - and what you had to do. You said it was personal; I was hardly in any position to intervene. It wouldn't have been right to do so. But letting you choose to die wasn't right either, and to this day I still stand by that thought.

If you care for yourself just a little more - well, what can I do but to thank you?

[icanfixer]

[ thank her for it... such an odd thing to be thanked for, to feel gratefulness for, but that's friendship, perhaps. she beams at kaveh,

and then it slips into something quieter too. such a long time ago, that was, and yet... ]

I would do it all again, for that personal reason, even if it would make others just as angry as they did then.

[ quite an important reason, an important person. ]

[fussiest]

[ kaveh smiles. ]

If you didn't, I'd be the first to wonder who you were, Don. But at least this time, you'll do it knowing why there might be some of us being ready to cry at the train station waiting for your return.