![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
- arknights: midnight,
- cobra kai: daniel larusso,
- cobra kai: robby keene,
- genshin impact: alhaitham,
- genshin impact: cyno,
- genshin impact: kaveh,
- genshin impact: tighnari,
- genshin impact: wanderer,
- library of ruina: chesed,
- library of ruina: netzach,
- library of ruina: yesod,
- limbus company: don quixote,
- limbus company: vergilius,
- magia record: tsuruno yui,
- original: ghost
[ open ] kaveh's permanent catch-all
WHO: kaveh (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fussiest) & y'all!
WHAT: this is a perpetual catch-all for kaveh because i'm too lazy to make a new one every month. this is for closed starters, tag-ins, visits to kaveh's workshop and the like! be wild! be bold! be free!
WHERE: all around the city, and especially at kaveh's workshop, the pairidaeza architectural design studio in district 1
WHEN: everywhere! everywhen! all at once!
WARNINGS: bickering, probably - everything else will be warned for on a thread-by-thread basis
fussiest) & y'all!
WHAT: this is a perpetual catch-all for kaveh because i'm too lazy to make a new one every month. this is for closed starters, tag-ins, visits to kaveh's workshop and the like! be wild! be bold! be free!
WHERE: all around the city, and especially at kaveh's workshop, the pairidaeza architectural design studio in district 1
WHEN: everywhere! everywhen! all at once!
WARNINGS: bickering, probably - everything else will be warned for on a thread-by-thread basis
no subject
Perhaps not you, given that you're older than he had been when I met him. [ kaveh says with a laugh, ] Though you are right about Alhaitham. In fact, when I met him, he had long since decided that interpersonal relationships weren't something he wanted at all. Ah, the arguments we had over it. I had to pull out papers from Vahumana that date back to the two hundredth century because he wouldn't let go of the precise definition of solitude, and he wasn't going to listen to anything I say until I proved him wrong.
I still don't know to this day what made him accept me as a friend, especially after knowing the ins and outs of his temperament. But we did become friends, Tsuruno. We were as well-known for our arguments against each other and the arguments we had together against others. The two of us could talk any conference into a standstill so long as we agreed with one another. We could talk the world into a standstill, or so I believed.
[ kaveh plucks up the cloth. he considers its colour, and then, deciding that it's soaked enough, makes to pull it out of the vat and spread it on a wooden rack. chemicals drip into the pan beneath. ] It didn't last, however. It rarely does. I merely thought it would. Have you ever had to work on an academic project, Tsuruno? In a group?
What would you do, if someone in your group was less talented than the others?
no subject
Stubbornness goes a long way, [ is what she ends up saying. ] It really does. I don't think he'd stand a chance against you if you kept throwing yourself at his walls.
[ But in regards to the question, her eyebrows knit together. Lightly. ]
I don't know if I know what "less talented" means, exactly... like if it was someone who had to work harder to help the group or understand something, then I'd want to help them.
no subject
[ but there's a somber lilt to his lips as he breathes out again. the cloth is spread across the rack. kaveh lids the vat. he pulls out a spritz bottle, and begins to gently tweeze out the cloth's edges, spritzing as he goes along. the work helps. it always does. ]
I agree with you, Tsuruno. Yes, that was my stance. That still is my stance now. The world is run on mutual cooperation and aid, kindness and generosity, giving and receiving in turn - none of that 'survival of the fittest' nonsense. In fact, back then I didn't believe in the difference in talent. Everyone ought to be able to achieve the same thing, climb to the top of the same mountain to see the same vision, so long as each member of the group was willing to help the others climb.
Alhaitham and I began a joint research project. The topic was "Decoding the Runes and Architectural Philosophy of the Ruins of King Deshret's Civilization". It was to revolutionise our understanding of desert-born structures and the language that came with it; it did, even in its incomplete form, update the standards of Sumeran building code, and improved the lives of countless desert-dwelling folk. Yes, we never finished the project. We had several other people in our group, all vying for the same vision. All brilliant, all warm-hearted. It wasn't long after the project began that the cracks began to show. In hindsight, I could say it now: there were those who couldn't keep up with us.
I still think mutual cooperation is the way. My ideals have never been wrong. But my execution - [ kaveh winces, ] late nights, taking on work, coaching and cajoling. I thought if I simply did more, if I did enough, I would be able to teach and lead and alleviate the burden that the others were carrying so that we could see the same sight together. But it wasn't enough - I wasn't enough. They left, one by one, until by the end of things, it was just Alhaitham and I. Two people left in a joint project meant for a team.
... that was what our fight was about, actually. Throughout the downhill process of it, Alhaitham hadn't done anything, had merely taken on the stance that it was natural for those within the same species to exhibit different talent, and that I ought to let the others in the group go. I called him cold. He called me meddlesome. We said far worse things to each other - far, far worse. He said to me... [ kaveh stills. he pulls on the last corner of the square cloth. his hands are steady; they are an architect's hands. they will remain steady. but all of a sudden, kaveh can't quite breath.
he starts, and stops. and starts, again: ] He saw through me, Tsuruno. He weaponised what he saw. I could forgive what he said, but I couldn't forgive that it was he who said it. My best friend, the one who had seen through me so deeply, the one I could trust. So I said to him that I regretted him.
[ ... ] To this day, perhaps I stood by what I said; to this day, perhaps I regret what I said. I don't know how he feels about the matter now. It's been some time. But our friendship ended that day. We didn't speak again in person for years after.
no subject
It's not sympathy or pity that darkens her eyes as she lets him talk, in silence. It's just sorrow. She's seen so many friends who have fought, who have argued, and he knows she has by now. The friends who have frayed at the edges and fallen apart under the weight of a loss, a secret, and a catastrophic truth. In the end, it always led back to that truth, no matter the friends, the matter the pain.
And maybe the catastrophic truth was that Alhaitham and Kaveh had both known so much about each other and had subsequently known what would hurt most and had not held back, in the way these do so rarely do at their most fervent.
She closes her eyes, briefly. ]
But you gravitated back to each other.
And I think that's still true now. He doesn't want to let this end.
no subject
still, kaveh breathes out. he finishes fiddling with the cloth. he sets the rack to dry, and then carefully removes his mask. ]
I know, love. [ kaveh says, with rue tucked away in the corners of his lips. ] I know. He was the one to bridge it. At the lowest point in my life, he reached out his hand. That's when we first became roommates, you see. While I can't fathom why he would do so, and continues to do what he does for me, it's clear that he doesn't want the string that connects us to snap. Neither do I, for that matter. That's why I say that this won't end. It's just that I don't know what the shape of it is, what it will look in the future as we walk this path.
You must think this is ridiculous, and perhaps a little much. We're feuding like children, aren't we.
no subject
[ Her little smile is hidden beneath the mask, present only when she follows Kaveh's lead and removes it a few seconds later. Because children forgave pretty easily. They didn't tend to hold grudges for years. Because, as a child, she already understood just how important "harmony" was, even if more often than not, that harmony drained her and even the light in her eyes was a conscious effort. ]
I think you're feuding like friends.
no subject
kaveh's heart aches. friends, she says. that what they were, kaveh thinks. he's not sure what they would call each other now, if anything at all. but it's undeniable, isn't it, that there's a yearning there in the chasm that a simple friendship would fill. you could simply be with someone, if they were your friend. ]
... I like that. The sound of it. [ kaveh strips his hands of his gloves. he reaches forward to ruffle tsuruno's hair. ] There. Now you know, the length and the shape of it.
no subject
Now I know.
Thanks for telling me, seriously.
no subject
she is strong. ]
I'm glad I did. I feel a little lighter for it, that you know.
no subject
[ She's proud of you, Kaveh. ]
no subject
no subject
[ Brightly. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ Geez, worrywart. ]
no subject
Up you come, now. Let me take you back to your apartment.
no subject
[ She's giving him a very wary stare. ]
no subject
No, no. I wouldn't know how to do so without hurting you. But I am going to carry these containers of stew and sandwich meats that I was going to foist off onto you.
No, you don't get a say in this. Yes, it's good food. I just made entirely too much of it.
no subject
[ Solemnly. ]
no subject
[ kaveh grins. he cants his head. ] Come, let's get you home and to proper rest.
no subject
She'll be good. ]