limbical: (at this point i'll have to)
dirty degenerate furry ([personal profile] limbical) wrote in [community profile] citylogs 2023-11-10 07:45 am (UTC)

[Leave it to Kaveh to pick apart and find the piece of information that Daan did explicitly leave out.]

I don't know if I was or not. The more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe it was... I don't know. [Daan shakes his head.] I might never know for sure, if my marriage was just a sham or not. But my love was genuine. It still is, in some ways.

I guess... I thought to myself that if my parents couldn't love me, if my wife didn't love me, then there's got to be something fundamentally wrong with me. And sure, I have a lot of flaws. Who the fuck doesn't? I was sure that... if I told him about my worst parts, he'd leave me alone. He'd hate me, because that's all I could see.

[Pet. Filth. Puppet. Plaything. Degenerate. Fraud. Put on a new mask, another, and another.]

It wasn't a clean confession, as you can see. I tried to make him see the worst I had to offer, but all he gave me was his compassion. There's a part of me that still isn't sure I really deserve that, but I'm holding onto it.

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