matermali: (278)
Vanessa Ives ([personal profile] matermali) wrote in [community profile] citylogs 2023-09-19 08:25 am (UTC)

[ She wouldn't know what it is to master her nightmares, though she had assuredly been on her way to do just that before being kidnapped to this city. Lucifer may not be here, but there are more unknowns than ever. Those nightmares reign, and among them—the greatest of all—is rejection. It's something she is used to, even from friends, especially from family. They loved her, of course they did, but only so long as she was never completely herself. Such friendship is conditional, and it is a tight-rope walk between the life of a monster and that of a demon.

Unlikely, he says. Does Morpheus think friendship should be unconditional? It should be; love should be boundless. Vanessa can only know her love for others as thus—incomplete until the ugliness is embraced with the beauty. She has never known it in return, but it is usually enough to experience it for others. Sometimes, though, the memory of loneliness overcomes, and like now it's all she can remember. She is alone with the other Ethan, with her nightmares and the evil inside.

She is slow to respond for knowing the reality of her friendships and herself, yet glad for his comfort, for the beauty in his gaze reminding her in that echo of hope she used to have. And yet, hope can hurt, too much to live on by itself.

With a trembling sigh, she slowly lowers her gaze and leans forward to rest her head against his shoulder, gripping gently at the lapel and shoulder of his dark coat. Facing away so that she can look to one of the more familiar headstones, Vanessa struggles to keep her eyes dry.

Though she speaks as if in request, in truth the smallness of her voice is a question—no, a plea. ]


Hold me.

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