[ Midnight toasts too, laughing. He's so mean. Oh, Midnight likes him. ]

Libel, sir. Unfounded and mathematically unsound. Half of zero is still zero, isn't it? They'd be the same size.

[ He takes another drink. He is going to end up plastered against the floor in about 30 minutes. This is the plan. ]

Anyway, I won't hold your claims against you. You've no proof and no interest in the truth, scientifically. I can only respect that. Love a good story.