i. living sucks, but it's sucking just a little now [the station]
Nill comes to on a train, which is weird, because she's never been on a train before. It's also weird that she has a phone, because she's never had one of those, either. Two new experiences in such quick succession is a lot for Nill to process and deal with in the moment, but she does what she thinks is the most logical thing: she fills out the orientation survey, and waits for the train to stop.
It's hard not to focus on the way her heart is trying to beat right out of her chest from fear, but she manages.
How did I get here? Where is Heine? She doesn't voice the questions, but they run through her head like a mantra as she slowly and carefully taps out her answers on the phone screen.
The door opens, and she stays seated for a few seconds, heart pounding away, waiting to see if anyone will, well, get on the train. But nothing happens, nobody comes. So she stands, creeps towards the door, and peeks out around the corner. Empty. It's all empty. While this might make another person even more terrified, Nill is actually relieved that she's alone for the moment. It gives her time to think, to take one step, then two out on to the platform, head swiveling from side to side and wings trembling behind her. She looks back to the train, but it hasn't moved. No one else has left a car. Nobody is on the platform. All she can hear is the sound of her own breathing.
It's just her. She's really alone. Now the fear kicks back in, all logical thought set aside for the moment.
Nill bolts up the stairs, and only once she reaches the top does she spot other people. Her small wings flare out behind her, and she freezes where she stands, eyes wide, breaths short. When was the last time she was alone around people she didn't know? She doesn't want to think about it. She presses her wings to her back, and then her back to the closest wall. She stands there, unmoving, as if she can just sink into the brick and disappear from wherever this is. If only she was so lucky.
When she finally feels like she's able to move again, she starts moving towards the closest exit, but since she sticks as close to the wall as she can, her progress is slow. And very noticeably strange to anyone who happens to look her way.
ii. and i don't wanna cry no more [the city park]
Making it out of the station is a trial, but she manages to do it in one piece. Nill is on edge, jumping at every movement in her peripheral and any sound she doesn't immediately recognize. She hurries out one of the doors, too busy trying to fight the panic welling up her throat to stop and think that she should look where she's going first. Her wings are pressed close to her back, shaking, and she wishes she had a big coat to cover them with. People are staring. She doesn't know if they are, she just assumes.
By the time her eyes really focus on what's around her, all she can see is green. If Nill could speak, she'd be speechless. She's never seen so many plants in one place--actually, she doesn't think she's seen this many plants ever in her life. It's hard to make anything grow underground.
It's silent, except for the sound of leaves over her head brushing against one another in a slight breeze. Her heart and breathing slow, her mind clears a little.
She's on a path, and looks down at the grass on the edge of the paved walkway. It looks--soft, and fresh, and a hundred other things she can't even find the words for. She's never seen grass like this, grown in fertile ground and well-watered. An image of grass she'd once seen, brownish and scraggly, flashes through her mind, and that is so incongruous with what she's seeing now that she just separates them completely. They can't be the same thing.
Nill crouches down right there on the walkway, hand outstretched like she wants to touch the grass, but hovering just above it because she somehow can't bring herself to. As if touching it will break it, will ruin the perfectly curated look of it.
iii. so i set my bar real low [wildcard]
[i'm up for anything! nill would probably come from the end of chapter 101. i will match either prose or brackets, i don't have a preference. feel free to pm me at this journal or ping me on plurk at watchet for anything specific!]
nill | DOGS: BULLETS & CARNAGE
Nill comes to on a train, which is weird, because she's never been on a train before. It's also weird that she has a phone, because she's never had one of those, either. Two new experiences in such quick succession is a lot for Nill to process and deal with in the moment, but she does what she thinks is the most logical thing: she fills out the orientation survey, and waits for the train to stop.
It's hard not to focus on the way her heart is trying to beat right out of her chest from fear, but she manages.
How did I get here? Where is Heine? She doesn't voice the questions, but they run through her head like a mantra as she slowly and carefully taps out her answers on the phone screen.
The door opens, and she stays seated for a few seconds, heart pounding away, waiting to see if anyone will, well, get on the train. But nothing happens, nobody comes. So she stands, creeps towards the door, and peeks out around the corner. Empty. It's all empty. While this might make another person even more terrified, Nill is actually relieved that she's alone for the moment. It gives her time to think, to take one step, then two out on to the platform, head swiveling from side to side and wings trembling behind her. She looks back to the train, but it hasn't moved. No one else has left a car. Nobody is on the platform. All she can hear is the sound of her own breathing.
It's just her. She's really alone. Now the fear kicks back in, all logical thought set aside for the moment.
Nill bolts up the stairs, and only once she reaches the top does she spot other people. Her small wings flare out behind her, and she freezes where she stands, eyes wide, breaths short. When was the last time she was alone around people she didn't know? She doesn't want to think about it. She presses her wings to her back, and then her back to the closest wall. She stands there, unmoving, as if she can just sink into the brick and disappear from wherever this is. If only she was so lucky.
When she finally feels like she's able to move again, she starts moving towards the closest exit, but since she sticks as close to the wall as she can, her progress is slow. And very noticeably strange to anyone who happens to look her way.
ii. and i don't wanna cry no more [the city park]
Making it out of the station is a trial, but she manages to do it in one piece. Nill is on edge, jumping at every movement in her peripheral and any sound she doesn't immediately recognize. She hurries out one of the doors, too busy trying to fight the panic welling up her throat to stop and think that she should look where she's going first. Her wings are pressed close to her back, shaking, and she wishes she had a big coat to cover them with. People are staring. She doesn't know if they are, she just assumes.
By the time her eyes really focus on what's around her, all she can see is green. If Nill could speak, she'd be speechless. She's never seen so many plants in one place--actually, she doesn't think she's seen this many plants ever in her life. It's hard to make anything grow underground.
It's silent, except for the sound of leaves over her head brushing against one another in a slight breeze. Her heart and breathing slow, her mind clears a little.
She's on a path, and looks down at the grass on the edge of the paved walkway. It looks--soft, and fresh, and a hundred other things she can't even find the words for. She's never seen grass like this, grown in fertile ground and well-watered. An image of grass she'd once seen, brownish and scraggly, flashes through her mind, and that is so incongruous with what she's seeing now that she just separates them completely. They can't be the same thing.
Nill crouches down right there on the walkway, hand outstretched like she wants to touch the grass, but hovering just above it because she somehow can't bring herself to. As if touching it will break it, will ruin the perfectly curated look of it.
iii. so i set my bar real low [wildcard]
[i'm up for anything! nill would probably come from the end of chapter 101. i will match either prose or brackets, i don't have a preference. feel free to pm me at this journal or ping me on plurk at