[ Midnight tuts, unfolding a pair of trousers and examining them. ]

And despite the brave soldiers that came before me, sincerity in tow, here you are, still in the throes of your doubt.

[ Quite the complex to be carrying around. ]

How do I disabuse you of this illusion you have? What do I have available to me but sheer persistence and honesty? Please, do let me know how I can help.